Options Part II

So I wrote a blog called “Options” a little over six months ago. So many things have happened in those short months that I felt the need to update my faithful readers. After looking at the stats on each of my blog posts I was happy to see that I do have a committed following that reads my blog. I thank you for caring about what I have to say. I did notice that the most popular posts were about technology and hair care. So I will start posting more about those topics since I have an affinity for both.

I am now exactly one year into the mba program. I have four quarters under my belt and the fifth quarter starts today. Here is what I claimed for myself back on June 25^th 2012, and where I am to date:

Claim: Had just earned an “A” in Statistics, and was concerned about Quantitative Methods.

Result: I aced not only Quantitative Methods, but Financial Accounting.

Claim: Maintenance of at least a 3.8 gpa.

Result: I have maintained a 4.0 gpa.

Claim: No deterrence from a December 2013 graduation date.

Result: My graduation date has moved up to September 2013.

Claim: Desired invitations to at least two honor societies.

Result: There are two honor societies at the graduate level at Strayer. One only offers membership one quarter before graduation. I joined the other in October 2012.

Now to the bad stuff. My beloved grandmother, who I shared 35+ wonderful years with, passed away on Wednesday, November 14, 2012. My grandmother was a very important person in my life. She acted as mother to me because my own mother was very young when she had me. I loved my grandmother with all my heart. I am devastated to have this hole in my heart. What makes all these great accomplishments bittersweet is the fact that my granny, who was my biggest cheerleader, ally, and source of emotional support is not here to share them with me. But I know she is looking down from on high and she is proud of all the things that I and her other grandchildren are accomplishing. I will honor her name and memory by being the best person that I can be. R.I.P. Miss Estelle!

Secondly, 2012 was a year that I was reminded that people come into your life for a reason or a season. Clearly my grandmother was there for a major reason. Not only do I come from her, but she was one of the most positive influences on my life. Other people came and went after a season or two. I hold absolutely no animosity. God has blessed with me with a cadre of AMAZING friends- some of whom I have been down with since I was 10 years old. My ride or dies stood behind me in pink bridesmaids dresses on my big day. None of them live close to me, but our bonds transcend the highways, byways, oceans, and friendly skies. I cherish and value those friendships and am grateful for them. Having those people in my life allowed me to get through the pain of my loved ones deaths, my own personal failures, setbacks and other low points that are visited upon all of us- no matter how perfect we portray our lives to be to the outside world.

Speaking of low points, it’s also mind blowing that someone who people had listed as down for the count could rise like a phoenix from the ashes. So many great things have happened over the past few months, and some are still happening now. So stay tuned for the Options Three update! I don’t want to jinx a certain situation but God is really blessing my family right now. I feel like Job, and I am more humbled, and grateful for my blessings this go round than I had been in the past!

Seriously- stay tuned!

Love,

Me

The Fleecing of America Part #1: High School Graduations

Some of you may know that my oldest "baby" graduated from High School this past year. Friday, June 11, 2010 to be exact. To make a very long story short, I calculate that I shelled out close to five thousand dollars on her during the course of her senior year.

I know. You're sitting there with your mouth agape. And though I can't remember ALL the fees, I do remember getting a "checklist" when she was a junior. Many of those activities, events and items cost well over $500. There were at least ten things on the list. Now, even though she didn't do all of them, she did enough. Coupled with her cotillion which took place that Sunday, June 13, 2010, I can safely say I spent well over $4,000 on baby girl.

Now, I'm not a penny pincher. Though I am not living as glamorously as I did when I was working in corporate America and getting bonus checks that were 5 digits, I still like to have nice things. I drive a late model car, that I purchased brand new. In fact, out of the five cars I've purchased in my life, three of them were brand new. Though I maintain my hair at home now- it's mostly because I'm trying keep it healthy and getting it fried, dyed and laid to the side every week at Maria's Dominicana Salon or Bonita's Bump N Curl kinda counteract that goal. However, I get my pink and white manicures, pedicures and eyebrows done on the reg. I still shop, eat out, purchase gadgets, do a bit of traveling, tithe (yes, 10%. Praise God from whom all blessings flow). But I'm sorry, thousands of bucks for a graduation, especially in this economy is some bull.

Keep in mind, I just got married last September. We're still paying for something things from that event. Though we paid for a lot of things cash and many other things were gifted to us from family and loved ones- we still paid a pretty penny for our wedding. We had about 100 guests, give or take 5 or 10. We had an open bar at a restaurant that overlooks the water and has an amazing view of the Miami night sky line. We had a lavish buffet, a stretch Hummer... yadda yadda yadda. So yeah. We already paid out the wazoo for our wedding. After all, me and the marriage thing is a ONE time event. So fairy tale it had to be. But over the top graduations... No.

I'm going to her THIRD graduation this year next Tuesday. She graduated from basic training back in September. She graduates from AIT next week. I'm sure the Army will have another 5 graduations before it's all said and done. And of course, she'll graduate from undergrad, grad and hopefully post grad schools. So...

I guess what I'm ranting about is the fact that these companies are pimping the hell out of these kids and their parents. We are not rich. When I had my big corporate America job I was upper middle classed at best. Now that I'm doing my own thing I'm scraping along the fringes of lower middle class, and POOR. So imagine my surprise when my 16 year old junior called me yesterday to tell me that HER ring is pricing out at a cool $700? Her sisters, just last year was $600. Are they mad?

And then if you try to get yours done with another vendor, they bar your child from participating in the ring ceremony which is supposed to be the "official moment when juniors become rising seniors". I saw the sadness in my 16 year olds eyes when I said "Hell to the no!" Well, actually I said "Absolutely not!", but I was thinking the former. Of course, after thinking about it, I can NOT deny her what her sister had just last year. Especially when she's doing so well in school, and balances all her activities and studies to perfection. In fact, because she's such a super girl, she's being honored at an event this Saturday. She won't even be around to accept the award (I'm accepting it on her behalf). She'll be out of town at a weekend conference for one of her organizations. Did I mention she's also been tapped to be on the Board of Directors at a non-profit that mentors inner city youth? So yeah, she deserves to get the ring she wants. But why does it have to be so damned expensive?!

Last point- after my oldest graduated last year there was this vendor outside selling replicas of their diplomas at $35 a pop. I know how much it costs to make those little plaque thingys. En masse- probably about $5 each. So do the math. 700 graduating seniors x $30 profits = $21,000 at ONE graduation. These companies are coming up on us and pimping us for every dollar in our pocket and we just smile and ask may we have another. I promise if we have more kids we won't even get sucked into this mess. And they won't know any better because we never exposed them to any of it to begin with.

#END RANT#

Doing Me

It's a truly rewarding experience to work for self.

I punch no time clocks.

I answer to no one.

If I don't work, I don't eat. It's incentive stay busy and stay on my grind.

To that end, it feels so good to go that extra mile to the benefit of myself and my own family. When you work for others all your hard work is strictly for them. Yes, you may get a pat on the back. Maybe even a little bonus or a promotion. But nothing beats doing it for dolo.

I realize that I didn't mention that I am no longer with that large South Florida non-profit. Yes, I'm on my own now. My client roster is growing by the day. I realized something was wrong when I started turning down clients to keep my day job. It quickly dawned on me I could make more money on my own than working for someone else.

It's not just about the money though. Money isn't everything. As the greatest book in the world states "The love of money is the root of all evil." So I try not to base my happiness or lack thereof on whether I do or don't have money. As long as my family is "comfortable" and not wanting for anything I am good!

It's about being able to take vacations when I want.

It's about being able to work on my schedule.

It's about staying home to raise my children. I was never in daycare a day in my life. I have vowed that I would never put my children there either.

It's about being in traffic on the way to fun. Not because I'm in some cranky commute.

So stay with me as I take a leap out on faith. I can always go back to work for someone else if this doesn't pan out. But so far everything is looking beautiful!

Self Destruction 2010

The following note was taken from my surrogate brother's Facebook page after we witnessed a mob inciting a riot near JFK Middle School in North Miami Beach Florida. Parents, WHEN WILL WE STEP UP AND TAKE CHARGE OF OUR CHILDREN SO THAT THEY NO LONGER BEHAVE AS BLOOD THIRSTY ANIMALS INSTEAD OF YOUNG KINGS AND QUEENS WITH THE WORLD AT THEIR FEET? ENOUGH!

Destruction of Generation Me-Me-Me

Today at 6:04pm

With each passing day, I realize that today's teens are like black holes with nothingness there and quickly need to find Jesus. My sister and I were driving and happened to see a literal mob of about 100 additional teens following one frightened boy walking like he was about to sprint away from them at any minute. We asked if he was okay and he said no. We told him to jump in the car to make a speedy get away from the mob. Apparently, the frightened boy was using the phone of a girl that was deep inside that mob. Once he jumped into the car, the dizzy girl yelled, "give me back my phone." He did that but by doing that, it stopped us for a second and some idiot from the crowd of teens threw a rock at our car. I stopped the car because I was about to wreck shop (but then my sister screamed to zoom off). I thought about it as I was dialing 911 to get this kid some help: Yeah, they were much younger than me but who knows what weapons they may have had and a mob is still a mob. We ended up calling the police. There was a delay in them finding us because I told them an address but gave the wrong street number, which was one block over because that was the last street I saw before turning off. When the cops arrived, they'd told us they came from the original spot from where that fight had taken place. That boy had already been beaten because he had a bruise on his lip that the cops noticed before we did. The cops took it from there and said they would handle it. But the fact still remains that a group of 100 were going to jump, stomp and possibly murder some 8th grader over some simple, silly bull-ish. Had my sister and I not been at the right (or wrong depending how you see it) place at the right time, that 8th grade kid would've ended up like Chicago's Derrion Albert, who if you don't know, was attacked and murdered with a 2x4 as he was walking home from school. We have to wake these teens up and the generation after them to see there is a future out there for them if they just keep their eye on the prize and not try to be the biggest thug on the block or else the world will end like the movie Children of Men.

Full Day

Yesterday started out at snails pace. I took a Zyrtec pill at around 630am and I was super drowsy at work. I found myself passing out at my desk several times. I don't know how I made it but even with one of my feet in dreamland, the other in reality I managed to accomplish so much yesterday. I was so proud of myself I bragged to my brother, sister and fiancée about what a busy bee I was! I completed:

1) The first pre-martial counseling session with my pastor and my fiancée. It went very well and I was so happy that my man opened up to someone who, in essence, is a complete stranger to him. I see these next 4 meetings being very productive and I can't wait until next month to tackle more marital solutions. We also put the official date on the pastors calendar, and booked the church for the actual ceremony.

2) I was on the fence about which bakery I was going to choose to do our cake. In the end, the lack of a selection from Bakery A made me go with Bakery B, which is Cake Designs by Edda. I made an appointment for us to have a tasting next Saturday and let them know which cake I was leaning towards so that they would definitely have that sample available.

3) I took a power nap on my fiancée's lap. It felt sooo good! I don't require a lot of sleep to survive but I was crashing yesterday. I woke up charged and ready to go after 9pm last night and this is when I accomplished most of my tasks.

4) I FINALLY completed our first wedding guest list. There are 180+ people on the list. I pray that 80 people decline though so I can get the number right at 100. LOL! No seriously I wish we had room for every family member and every friend that we both have but we are paying per plate and as anyone who has ever had a big wedding knows - it can be very expensive. Most of the people we invited have to come from out of state to attend so there may be a lot of declines from NY, Jamaica, NC etc. But everyone in Florida will most likely make it so I know that a wonderful time will be had by all.

5) I sent out requests for physical addresses for all invited guests. They have started filtering in as of this morning. It seems like maintaing this will be a lot of work so I will probably ask my matron or maid of honor to keep the list updated for me.

6) Finally got my brother to take the HUGE bag of clothes out of my living room to be donated. The bag was heavier than a dead body and packed with brand new and gently used teenage clothes. I tried to donate them to my church by they keep their pantry small so it wasn't an option. My brother knows of a place that gives away donations to domestic abuse victims and of course I was happy to oblige. It felt good knowing that someone else can benefit from us.

7) Began working on a grass roots publicity campaign for our 41st Annual Pink Tea. You can click the link for details.

I think there is more, but that should be enough for now. I do know that I have made a comittment not to take on any more projects. So...

My wedding
Helping my grandmother get her fiances back in order
Preparing my 15 year old for her boyfriends senior prom
Readying myself for a prospect I have been working on for years
The 41st Annual Pink Tea.
Weight Watchers

Are on the front burner right now. Everything else will have to wait until after the wedding. My plate runneth over!

Catharsis

It's been more than a minute. I said that I would update this blog regularly but did not keep my word. Sometimes we let life get in the way of living. As it were, I had two deaths in my family within a two week period that rocked the very core of my existence.

As some of you may know, both my parents have passed on. My dad died a violent death on July 4, 1995 in a Brooklyn basement. No one will ever know the truth about what happened in that dank and decrepit place where my father spent his last moments on earth. I obssessed about it for years until my mother died suddenly on November 12, 2001. She died in her sleep after having a grand mal seizure. And with that I felt a page turn in my life. Unless you've lost a parent, I cannot describe to you what it feels like. And we all know that it's natural for us to outlive our parents. But when you lose both of them by the time you hit 25... that's... devastating to say the least.

My paternal grandfather died in 2007. We lived right around the corner from each other and never saw one another. There's baggage there. Unresolved now, because the opportunity to work things out and forge a relationship has come and gone.

Then on March 30, 2009 my maternal grandfather died in his sleep from complications from colon cancer. My grandfather was the father I had when my biological didn't bother to quote Shaq. He was also a man of few words so I'll be concise here. He was a wonderful family man, a WWII vet who came home in one piece with honors. A retiree from UPS who raised 3 kids and had a hand in raising 8 grandkids. I am so happy he lived to see Obama in office. As an educated man, a Mason, a member of the Kiwanis club and a trained tailor my grandfather was the epitome of strong black man. Women today could only wish to get a scintilla of the man that he was and they would still have a mighty mighty good man on their arms. RIP Daddy!

My grandmother then lost her brother 2 weeks later. He too was such a solid man. They just don't make them like they used to. He was a Korea vet, a retired Federal government employee, a father to 3 children, a loving husband... I can go on and on. But I'd rather just celebrate their lives.

Because even in death, there can be a rebirth for those who are still among the living. If the passing of a friend or relative doesn't make you stand up and take notice... smell the roses... feel that ocean breeze kiss your chocolate cheek- then you, my friend aren't really living. And the only difference between you and those who have passed on are motor functions. So stop what you are doing. Close the laptop. Turn off the television. Go outside, whether it's day or night and gaze up at the sky. Marvel in the beautiful day or night that God has made and allowed you to see for a least one more day. You only have one life to live so live it to the absolute fullest.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

MEDIA CONTACT: Richard Clarke Tel. 305.594.7615 ext 274 rclarke@SouthFloridaWorkforce.com

South Florida Workforce Launches Youth Employment Program MIAMI-DADE

COUNTY, Fla.) – In an attempt to mitigate the impact of youth unemployment in South Florida, the South Florida Workforce Investment Board (SFWIB) recently launched its Summer Youth Employment Program to assist young people between the ages of 14-24 gain an understanding about careers, the workplace and appropriate employment skills by linking students to employers for work experience and career exploration.

The program is a public/private partnership between the South Florida Workforce Investment Board, the businesses community, and the public sector. The initiative is being supported pursuant to the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. The program’s concept is simple: local employers (both public and private) are being encouraged to provide career exploration opportunities to young people within their organizations during the summer months and the SFWIB will cover the youth participant’s wages for the hours worked.

According to Rick Beasley, Executive Director of South Florida Workforce, “the Summer Youth Employment Program is a great opportunity for local employers to make a contribution to their community and help create a simulative economic impact on the local economy; at the same time providing career exposure to our future workforce. I encourage anyone who is in a position to provide a placement opportunity to contact us for information about the program. It’s a great investment in our youth.”

For more information about the SFWIB’s Summer Employment Program, visit the agency’s website at: www.southfloridaworkforce.com.

# # #

Kick The Truth to the Young Black Youth: Black teen STD rate needs our attention

Black teen STD rate needs our attention

By Yolanda Young

Once again, a study has found a wide gap between blacks and whites, and yet again the news is not good for African-Americans.

The latest study, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, shows that an alarming 48% of African-American girls ages 14-19 have a sexually transmitted disease, compared with 20% of young white and Mexican-American females. The CDC analyzed data on 838 female adolescents who participated in the 2003-04 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. The researchers found that black teens had far greater rates of common STDs, including human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes simplex virus and trichomoniasis.

Sadly, this is not a new trend.

Though this study did not include syphilis, gonorrhea or HIV because of their low prevalence in this age group, these diseases strike black women in later years at strikingly high rates. In 2006, the rate of chlamydia cases among black women was more than seven times that of white women; the gonorrhea rate among African-American women was 18 times greater than for whites; and the rate of syphilis cases in black women was 16 times higher than in white women.

Why the disparity?

* STDs are concentrated in poor, segregated neighborhoods.

* Sexuality of teens starts earlier and earlier, heightened by music lyrics and images on television.

* More than 20% of blacks are uninsured. So without access to health care, more blacks with STDs go untreated while the diseases are often undetected.

The significance of this problem can't be overstated, as STDs also can cause infertility and cervical cancer.

What can be done? The CDC suggests sex with an uninfected monogamous partner and habitual condom use. Abstinence, of course, is the surest way to avoid STDs.

But advice isn't enough. With incidence levels already high among young black women, more emphasis should be placed on STD screening, treatment, and vaccinations at health clinics where contraceptive services are also offered. Ultimately, we must reverse this trend of early sexual activity. The CDC suggests that sex education delays sexual activity among teens.

What else might influence girls? Father figures who affirm them and women who demonstrate responsible sexual behavior that girls could emulate. This is not science, just my opinion based on what I've seen.

But one thing we should all agree on is that this is an issue that blacks can't afford to ignore. We need more talking and less doing.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/04/black-teen-std.html

Great Escape #3: Fort Lauderdale Beach

I wrote this blog months ago. I want say like over six months ago and saved it as a draft. I'm publishing it now after another washup of a NYE. I swear I'm going to NYC to party this year. I just can't take another boring NYE.

Remind me- what is the allure of South Beach?

Don't get me wrong, I've had some really good times there. I broke my Miami teeth back in the days at The Clevelander (is it ever coming back)? Back when I could actually squeeze into a size 7 I strutted my stuff up and down the sandy shores, club soda in hand, perpetrating like it was vodka. But for me, South Beach lacks something. I think it lacks personality. Alas I divorced SOBE to marry FLLB.

People like lists. So I'll give the people what they want. Here are the top 10 reasons why Fort Lauderdale Beach trumps South Beach:

1. Less traffic: you can't park on the strip that runs along the beach. So traffic is far more free flowing than on Ocean in SOBE.

2. Piggybacking off #1, less pousers: I saw a man with a broken neck getting down at Fat Tuesday's on FLLB. No one would dare make a complete ass out of theirself on SOBE.

3. Parking is existent: There are tons of public parking lots and even a few paid ones sprinkled throughout the FLLB area. A stark contrast to SOBE where your car could easily become a liability.

4. More things to do: Along with a bigger Fat Tuesdays, which is free to get in to, there are a bunch of great restaurants that serve great food that won't put a dent in your wallet. Add in a bunch of nightclubs where people aren't afraid to dance and you're already miles ahead of the game.

5. The ocean is a lot closer to the FLLB shoreline than it is to the SOBE shoreline: How annoying is it to have to carry a heavy cooler, blanket, umbrella a mile down to the ocean? You don't have to worry about all that in Fort Lauderdale. The ocean is literally a few steps away from the sea wall. Bad for residents if a big wave or hurricane washes in. Good for visiting beach bunnies like us. :)

6. The beach is very family friendly: I wouldn't recommend taking your infant to one of the ocean front bars, but you could most certainly take them out on the actual beach for a day of fun in the sun. No worries that your child will see exposed breasts or booty meat hanging out of thongs. True story- I had my kids out on SOBE one Sunday afternoon and there were ACTUAL PORN STARS recruiting men to sleep with them on film back at whatever seedy hotel they had booked for the occasion. Said porn stars APPROACHED not only my brother but MY FIANCEE and I on camera while my kids were but a few feet away. So far that hasn't happened on FLLB and I doubt it ever will.

7. The drive down to the beach is scenic and beautiful: Las Olas Boulevard is spectacular. Water front mini mansions with yatchs docked out back is a dream life and it's nice to be so close to prestige and affluence. You don't have to crane your neck to see Fischer/Star Island while speeding down the interstate or pay $40 to take a boat cruise past mansions. You can drive slowly by and imagine yourself living in the lap of luxury. Aside from the opulent homes there is beautiful blue water, interesting wildlife and swaying palm trees beckoning you to enter into paradise.

8. Like USA Channel, characters are welcome. Self explanatory.

9. Cheaper airfare, cheaper hotels, just cheaper everything.

10. The Hard Rock Casino area. Nuff said.

Consider taking a vacation to Fort Lauderdale and skip Miami. It's your chance to do something different. Everyone does SOBE. But few can say they did FLLB.

Family Ties

The older I get, the more I value my "blood ties".

Much as I am ashamed to admit it, as a teenager I shunned my family. I felt disconnected and wanted nothing more than to escape. My mother gave birth to me at a very young age and it shaped my views on the world around me- and not always in a positive way. I wasn't starving in the streets or anything like that. But I didn't have a Cosby type of childhood and I can't help but feel that if it wasn't for my grandparents my life would be the polar opposite of what it is now. I don't want to delve into details- but let's just say that teen parenthood, drugs and a short lifespan are just a few things that were at the end of the path that I would have been on had it not been for Miss Estelle and Mr. Cliff.

Fastforward to 2008. My grandfather is laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. I am struggling to keep my sanity as the only real father figure I ever had withers away in front of my eyes. My kid sister who I vowed never to speak to again exactly two years ago has popped back up in our lives and the jury is still out on whether or not she can be trusted. My first cousin who has always been the shining white knight of the family has major chinks in his armor that is showing signs of rust. My fiancee doesn't have the luxury of a smooth, gradual transition into meeting my maternal family. He is thrust into face first- with all the drama, all the jockeying for power, all the animosity, the grudges- the EVERYTHING. The fact that he still wants my hand in marriage after that introduction into my family is... a miracle.

Yet through it all, I realize that family is the most important thing in the world to any of us. Instead of envying others it's dawning on me that it could be a lot worse. Though my mother would have never won any Mom of the Year awards- she didn't Caylee me and cut my life short before it even started. She did her best and I'm here. I am a good mother, a good fiancee and future wife. A fair and competent boss. A PHENOMENAL friend- even to those who don't deserve it. A spiritual woman who loves The Lord and doesn't let a day go by without connecting with Him in my own way. A wonderful though controlling family member to my relatives (I'm working on it). A solid, law abiding citizen when so many are out here getting theirs by any means necessary. Ok, I speed and break traffic laws but I don't litter, do drugs or steal. I volunteer on a regular basis, give to charity, vote, serve my jury duty, pay my taxes and haven't killed anyone. Yet.

So as 2008 comes to a close I want to thank my mother and father for making me. I want to thank my grandparents for raising me into a strong woman of color. I want to thank my neighbors and family for molding me and giving me character. Thanks to all my friends who offered a shoulder when I cried and a gave wake up calls when I wallowed in self pity. I hope 2009 finds my grandfather in much better health if it's in God's good graces and I vow to continue to work on self so that I become a better person not only for myself but for those around me- especially to the man that I will marry in less than 9 months.

Fork In The Road

A few months ago I watched a horrible straight to dvd movie with my fiancee called "Fork In The Road". It was produced by a Jamaican company and apparently gets a lot of love back in NY and in Jamaica. As a budding filmmaker I give props to anyone with the guts to get their work out there on the small or silver screens. But come on now. All I have to say is watch it. You'll be disappointed, but hey. It's cold out. You don't have anything else to do.

I digress. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life. After all the changes that came about in my life in 2007 I feel that 2009 needs to usher in even more CHANGE. Just call me Obama Girl out this bitch because it's gotta get better. I won't say it can't get any worse but GOD please give your child a break.

I know that with every life challenge I become stronger. I am a better person because of all the struggles I've been through. Like my cousin said on my wedding website. I'm a pearl. You have to get through the tough exterior to reach the beautiful jewel inside. It's deep down there somewhere. Not everyone can gain access though.

With that being said I know that I need to close some chapters in my life. Many people are taking up space in the prime real estate that is the pre-war Upper East Side condo called MY LIFE. Those people will soon come to find that I won't even entertain the them and all their petty BS anymore. Unless they've been fighting in Iraq, fighting for their life in a hospital or just plain fighting with themselves, everyone in my life knows that I have been through some MAJOR ish over the past month or so. Those who were there for me, thank you. I love you all very much and the blessings that I know God will rain on me in 09 will be yours as well. For those of you too caught up in your own melodramas to even notice that your girl was HURTING and that it took a lot for her to even reach out to you because she doesn't like to show chinks in her armor... You will find yourself on the other side of the locked door to my pre-war condo. Simply put, it's not all about you. And if you feel I'm talking about you, then I probably am.

I hit the road tomorrow, but I promise I will update more. My exploits in Miami are becoming legendary and I want to share. If nothing else this blog will be cathartic to me as I relieve some weight off my shoulders.

Til next time people. I know I lost many of you along the way because I suck I keeping this blog updated but again I'm working on it. :)

My Day At The Historic Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach (Part 3)

Without further adieu here is the third and final part to my story about the day I volunteered at the re-opening of VKBP. You can read parts 1 and 2 in the archives.

My girls and I walked across the park. I was amazed at how big the park really is. It's huge and in my humble opinion it is going to take a lot of man hours on upkeep. That is probably why the VKBP Trust is asking for volunteers to make a commitment to help out for at least five hours on a monthly basis. If you live in the South Florida area and would like to be a part of something historic and truly rewarding please click the link that will follow this post in order to be taken to the VKBP website. You may sign up or request more information there.

Where was I? Oh yes. We walked across the huge park, being stopped every few minutes by park patrons who thought volunteer meant hauling trash cans over to their picnic area. We kindly told them that we were actually headed for an assignment but that they could head back over to the Trust building and make a request. We finally made it over to the V.I.P. tent. It was decked out beautifully and looked very chic. My two girls were quickly brisked away to the back of the tent to help out with the food. I, along with a young man whose name escapes me were stationed at the front of the tent to make sure that anyone trying to gain access to the V.I.P. area had a yellow wristband. And here is where the story goes south.

I come from N.Y., as you all should know by now. Maybe the meaning of V.I.P. is lost on some South Floridians. But in every state in the union V.I.P. stands for Very Important Person. Which means that you have done something, or paid some sum of money, or know someone and because of that you are in an area that is designated as nicer with more perks. It does not mean that you can stroll by, peek in and see wine and delicacy consumption, couches, lighting, etc and think, you can just mosey right on in.

To make a very long story short there was a serious misunderstanding between performers and those running the V.I.P tent. Every performer and member of the performers entourage were told they could come over to the tent after getting off the stage to eat, drink and mingle. That was not communicated to the people in charge of the tent. So when performers including singers, rappers, local djs etc would come to the tent and try to gain access we would tell them they couldn't come in because they didn't have the yellow wristband that must adorn the wrist of every V.I.P member. The people of course threw fits with the expected "Do you know who I am?" spiel. To which we had to call for two of the women who were vouching for people who could bypass us "bouncers" without the wristband.

I try to always exude class and behave like a lady in social settings. But once in a while people can push you to the limit. For the most part everyone was cool, respectful and friendly. But of course you always have the one or two who get what I like to call "extra". It's at those moments where you have to check a man/woman who thinks that a uniform, or in this case a yellow t-shirt means you are there to be talked down to, walked on and/or humiliated.

A few people found themselves on the receiving end of a breakdown. One of which was a member of a performer's entourage who will remain nameless. He was told by organizers that after the performer he was with exited the stage they could all come and eat. They had an entire clique with them including family. Said entourage member came directly up to me though there were two volunteers working the front of the tent at this point. He was full of bravado and bluster, but basically attempted to flip on me because one of his relatives was turned away at the door. I guess he is used to speaking to women in that manner in his usual interactions with them. Unfortunately for him I am not one of those women. I quickly nipped the situation in the bud and let him know a few things. One, that I wasn't the one who turned his relative away. He replied that he wasn't coming off on me, but he was frustrated. I told him to direct his frustrations elsewhere, and to take it down a volume. He rolled his eyes and asked me if I knew who he was. He stated he was in the entourage of a local rapper who again, will remain nameless.

South Floridians reading this blog will think I'm elitist and arrogant. They will take this as validation that all New Yorkers are this way. And maybe we are. But you all must understand. We are just used to moving through life faster and we have little time for b.s. After I told old boy that I was from New York where the real rappers are from and that unless he was exiting the stage with Biggie, Jay Z or Nas he really should come back to the world, he humbled out. He apologized for the disrespect. I guess he realized that wilin' out over a misunderstanding when you are a nobody in the clique of a still a nobody was very uncalled for. I saw him chilling in the tent throughout the night and he was very cool and down to earth after our disagreement. Sometimes it just takes a reality check for people to get their wits about them.

Needless to say this whole wristband thing caused a lot of unnecessary confusion. I think that performers at these types of events need to state how many people they are bringing so that organizers know in advance. Or they need their very own tent. It's that simple. I hate disorganization and the whole V.I.P. situation was all over the place. They definitely need to clean that up before the next big event.

The great thing that came out of working the tent that night was that I met one of the coolest sistas in Miami. She actually works in the same industry as I do and she's very well known in South Florida. We've been e-mailing each other back and forth since the event and have planned to hang out in the future. In fact we're meeting up tomorrow at a function in Coral Gables. I hope that as I come out of my shell I link up with many more accomplished women here. I really want to start building a network here that rivals the one I had back home.

One last tidbit- Jeffrey Osborne was the headlining performer and I didn't get to see one second of his performance because I was working. But I heard the performance and that man still has a set of pipes on him! I'm going to pick up one of his compilation cd's after hearing the great show that he put on.

Well that about sums up how my day went at VKBP. I'll be volunteering there again soon for beach clean up. I'll put up some pictures in my photobucket account for you guys to check out. Here is the VKBP link for the website if you guys want to sign up. Maybe I'll see you at the next event...

http://www.virginiakeybeachpark.net/volunteers.asp

My Day At The Historic Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach (Part 2)

Part 1 to this story is here: http://escapeconcretejungles.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-day-at-historic-re-opening-of.html

I'm not a morning person. I will never be "chipper" with or without coffee. Monday-Friday I have to be at the office by 8 a.m. sharp. So it goes without saying that on Saturday's I like to sleep in- the later the better.

So when I signed up my two girls and I to volunteer at the re-opening of VKBP I took solace in the fact that I wouldn't have to get there until 11:30 a.m. That would mean at least three extra hours of sleep for me. Unfortunately I stayed up until 4 or 5 a.m. that morning so when my alarm rang out I kept hitting the snooze. Somewhere deep down in dreamland I knew I had to get up- I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. After one of the kids dragged me kicking and screaming into the bathroom to get ready I finally became coherent enough to pull myself together and get on the road.

The directions provided to us by Quentin, the volunteer coordinator were great. One of the things that annoys me to no end are people who give bad directions and get you lost in the source, burning gas and precious minutes/hours that you can never get back. But I digress. After a long journey down to the end of I-95 and across a long bridge we arrived to our destination unscathed at 11:40 a.m. Parking was a breeze at this point because the "official" kick-off wasn't until around 1 p.m.

The one thing that kind of rattled me at first was how hot it was that Saturday. It had been cold all throughout the week so I didn't expect the heat to come back full throttle so soon. Worse, the t-shirts they gave us to wear were bright yellow. I could see huge bumble bees and wasps buzzing around the park and I was concerned one of us would get stung at some point during the day. I'm allergic to stings, but decided to play it by ear and hope for the best.


After a somewhat disorganized sign-in process (they should really print out a roster beforehand to avoid confusion on the day of events) the girls and I went inside the VKBP Trust building and changed into our t-shirts. Quentin asked for five volunteers to run a table for the kids. My girls and I, along with two other volunteers named Luz and Victoria were put in charge of "promotions" for the historical exhibits displayed around the park. We strategically placed the table off to the side of the children's playground, stocked up with coloring books, crayons, and paper to make oragami creations and got to work. We quickly designed some oragami boats, paper fortune tellers and drawings of our own and decorated our table with them to spark the children's interest.

We used a hook, line and sinker approach. The decorations were the hook. The line was the opportunity for them to draw and design things of their own. The sinker was that we had a paper called a passport to give to them that listed all the historical exhibits. If the kid's visited each exhibit and got the passport stamped as proof of their visit they could return the passport to us and win a prize. It was a good way to get the children to learn while having fun and enjoying the beautifully renovated park.

The experience was so incredible. My girls, especially my 14 year old loves small children so she was thrilled to help them draw and color all day. When things got slow around our area she would go into the playground and talk to parents to coax them into bringing their children over to our table to draw for us. The parent's and kid's were great for the most part. Of course there was an occasional parent who would make comments like "Saturday is for fun, not for learnin. They learnt all week. No learnin today." But hey. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.


At about 3:30 Quentin came over and scooped up Luz and Victoria because he needed help out in the parking lot directing cars. The kids and I held down the fort until our first shift ended at 4:30. Of course when a day is so blazing hot like that Saturday was the atmosphere must cool itself off. Right before we were scheduled to turn the table over to the next shift the skies opened and started pouring rain. We scrambled to pack everything up in the boxes and ran for shelter in the VKBP Trust building. Once inside we freshened up, cooled down, had a few drinks and just took a breather. I loved working with the kids but I could see the day out in the sun had drained them. I was nursing a major migraine headache myself and considered just going home. But the girls insisted they wanted to stick around for the second shift so I conceded.

Our next assignment would be to work the V.I.P. tent way across the park, over by the soundstage. All throughout the day we had been oblivious to the adult population. We heard the performances and local djs broadcasting from the soundstage but didn't focus on what was being said or what was going down. Anyone who works with children knows they command your full attention. So when we were directed to the V.I.P. section I had no idea what to expect. Let's just say I should have expected the unexpected...