Options Part II

So I wrote a blog called “Options” a little over six months ago. So many things have happened in those short months that I felt the need to update my faithful readers. After looking at the stats on each of my blog posts I was happy to see that I do have a committed following that reads my blog. I thank you for caring about what I have to say. I did notice that the most popular posts were about technology and hair care. So I will start posting more about those topics since I have an affinity for both.

I am now exactly one year into the mba program. I have four quarters under my belt and the fifth quarter starts today. Here is what I claimed for myself back on June 25^th 2012, and where I am to date:

Claim: Had just earned an “A” in Statistics, and was concerned about Quantitative Methods.

Result: I aced not only Quantitative Methods, but Financial Accounting.

Claim: Maintenance of at least a 3.8 gpa.

Result: I have maintained a 4.0 gpa.

Claim: No deterrence from a December 2013 graduation date.

Result: My graduation date has moved up to September 2013.

Claim: Desired invitations to at least two honor societies.

Result: There are two honor societies at the graduate level at Strayer. One only offers membership one quarter before graduation. I joined the other in October 2012.

Now to the bad stuff. My beloved grandmother, who I shared 35+ wonderful years with, passed away on Wednesday, November 14, 2012. My grandmother was a very important person in my life. She acted as mother to me because my own mother was very young when she had me. I loved my grandmother with all my heart. I am devastated to have this hole in my heart. What makes all these great accomplishments bittersweet is the fact that my granny, who was my biggest cheerleader, ally, and source of emotional support is not here to share them with me. But I know she is looking down from on high and she is proud of all the things that I and her other grandchildren are accomplishing. I will honor her name and memory by being the best person that I can be. R.I.P. Miss Estelle!

Secondly, 2012 was a year that I was reminded that people come into your life for a reason or a season. Clearly my grandmother was there for a major reason. Not only do I come from her, but she was one of the most positive influences on my life. Other people came and went after a season or two. I hold absolutely no animosity. God has blessed with me with a cadre of AMAZING friends- some of whom I have been down with since I was 10 years old. My ride or dies stood behind me in pink bridesmaids dresses on my big day. None of them live close to me, but our bonds transcend the highways, byways, oceans, and friendly skies. I cherish and value those friendships and am grateful for them. Having those people in my life allowed me to get through the pain of my loved ones deaths, my own personal failures, setbacks and other low points that are visited upon all of us- no matter how perfect we portray our lives to be to the outside world.

Speaking of low points, it’s also mind blowing that someone who people had listed as down for the count could rise like a phoenix from the ashes. So many great things have happened over the past few months, and some are still happening now. So stay tuned for the Options Three update! I don’t want to jinx a certain situation but God is really blessing my family right now. I feel like Job, and I am more humbled, and grateful for my blessings this go round than I had been in the past!

Seriously- stay tuned!

Love,

Me

Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed

I'm a Prince fan, but moreso his old music. He does have some newer joints that are solid though- like Incense & Candles, Cinnamon Girl, and Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed. 

Anyway, I wanted to let each and every one of you know that you are those things. You are BEAUTIFUL, LOVED, AND BLESSED. No matter what anyone else says, or doesn't say. I'm not one of those people who spend time dwelling on my "haters", because I'm far more concerned with my "lovers". Don't get me wrong- it's better to let your haters be your motivators than to sit around concerned about what negative energy your detractors are spouting out. However, accentuate the positive. Surround yourself with positive people and things. Put people in your life who are constantly motivating you to do better and to be better. No one who claims to love you should be hurting you, putting you down, or making you feel plain lousy. Also, beware of "frenemies". You know- the people who claim to be your friends but you find yourself in constant competition with them? Your friend should be the main one cheering you on when you achieve your goals- they should not be pointing out how things could have been so much better if you did XYZ. 

Be comfortable in your own skin. I'm the first to admit this wasn't always easy for me. Back in the day I constantly had to have someone around me. I couldn't stand to be alone even for an afternoon. I partied 6 nights a week just to be in the crowd. As I matured and began truly loving myself I quickly realized that with me is where I want to be. I now enjoy those brief moments of solitude where I can work out solutions in my head, or curl up with a good book. Or even veg out on the couch and clean out my dvr which is always at 90 something % full. Me time is critical! 

You may not be on the cover of Vogue, but you're beautiful. You may not have found "the one" yet, but you're loved by someone. And you may not be a millionaire- but you're blessed. You're beautiful because God molded you. You're loved because you love yourself. And you're blessed because you're alive reading this. 

-E.B.

Options

I can’t believe a person who used to write extra long love letters can’t even update a blog. I used to promise my faithful few readers that I would try to do better and committed to updating at least once per week. I think we all know that’s not going to happen. I’ll try to blog when I have something really relevant to share. In between I’ll try to post up some of the videos from my youtube page.

Ok, so one big change that has happened in my life is that I am officially in grad school! I just completed two quarters. I am shooting for a December 2013 graduation date with my mba in Human Resource Management. My thinking is that this degree will allow me to be more flexible in my career choices, and remove me from the media pigeon hole I’m in. I eat, breathe and sleep media but I want to be able to float into other industries if I find myself without a job. This degree will allow me to go into any type of business function, or Human Resources. I’ve been seriously considering going straight through and completing my PhD, but we’ll see how I feel after getting hammered by this rigorous mba program. 

Aside from counting my duckets, I am NOT a math person. Left to my own devices I’d probably get an F in every math class I ever took. I am definitely more into the humanities. Anyway I need to pop my collar and brag about the fact that I just got an “A” in statistics the first time out. I’m so proud of myself. I worked hard, stayed up long nights, gave up my weekends for 11 weeks and basically neglected my friends, kids, pets and husband to snag this grade. Next up is quantitative methods which I hear is far worse so please keep me in your prayers. LOL. Here’s what I am claiming for myself with this program: Maintenance of a 4.0 gpa at best, no less than a 3.8 on the low end. Invitations to at least two national honor societies. No graduation date push backs- December 2013 I want to walk across that stage.

One week ago I took a 6+ hour journey to drop my youngest off at college in Tallahassee. She will be pursuing a BA in chemistry. I encouraged her to take this path to give herself options. She wants to be a doctor, but realistically we all know that path is rough. So if she gets the degree in chemistry she can do one of two things. First, she can keep the chemistry degree and become a chemist. One of our cousins has made a career as a chemist and really enjoys working in the lab. Second option, she can apply to pharmacy school. Pharmacists make a great living with less years in school and no malpractice headaches. So she weighed her options and decided to give the chemistry major a try. If I had to do the last 15 years of my life over again, I think I would have given myself a lot more options. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t regret any of the decisions I’ve made (aside from one, which will be resolved very soon). But maybe I could have gone straight to grad school after college. Or maybe I should have stayed in NY 2 years less. Maybe, maybe, maybe. This time around I want options. I promise to blog tomorrow. I have a rant that I’ve been dying to post about for about a week.

Toodles,

E.B.

Post Turkey/Black Fri Day Check In

I absolutely have not forgotten about my readers, as dwindling as that number may have become. I guess I neglect this page for the same reason I can't get into twitter. Though I love to write, I just can't do it on command like that. And if I have nothing to say, I don't write. So much has happened since my last post and I would love to share it with the world- or at least the faithful readers that remain. I'll play with the privacy settings to go in about a few things that I don't want to necessarily be public right now. What I can share with the world is that I am almost finished with a portfolio that encompasses ALL my work. At first I had one that was strictly photographic in nature but since who I am is so much more than a photog I decided to pull together the whole kit and kaboodle. I'll post it here when it's done.

How have you all been? Feel free to bang back: escapebrooklyn[at]gmail.com . Besitos.

Family Ties

The older I get, the more I value my "blood ties".

Much as I am ashamed to admit it, as a teenager I shunned my family. I felt disconnected and wanted nothing more than to escape. My mother gave birth to me at a very young age and it shaped my views on the world around me- and not always in a positive way. I wasn't starving in the streets or anything like that. But I didn't have a Cosby type of childhood and I can't help but feel that if it wasn't for my grandparents my life would be the polar opposite of what it is now. I don't want to delve into details- but let's just say that teen parenthood, drugs and a short lifespan are just a few things that were at the end of the path that I would have been on had it not been for Miss Estelle and Mr. Cliff.

Fastforward to 2008. My grandfather is laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. I am struggling to keep my sanity as the only real father figure I ever had withers away in front of my eyes. My kid sister who I vowed never to speak to again exactly two years ago has popped back up in our lives and the jury is still out on whether or not she can be trusted. My first cousin who has always been the shining white knight of the family has major chinks in his armor that is showing signs of rust. My fiancee doesn't have the luxury of a smooth, gradual transition into meeting my maternal family. He is thrust into face first- with all the drama, all the jockeying for power, all the animosity, the grudges- the EVERYTHING. The fact that he still wants my hand in marriage after that introduction into my family is... a miracle.

Yet through it all, I realize that family is the most important thing in the world to any of us. Instead of envying others it's dawning on me that it could be a lot worse. Though my mother would have never won any Mom of the Year awards- she didn't Caylee me and cut my life short before it even started. She did her best and I'm here. I am a good mother, a good fiancee and future wife. A fair and competent boss. A PHENOMENAL friend- even to those who don't deserve it. A spiritual woman who loves The Lord and doesn't let a day go by without connecting with Him in my own way. A wonderful though controlling family member to my relatives (I'm working on it). A solid, law abiding citizen when so many are out here getting theirs by any means necessary. Ok, I speed and break traffic laws but I don't litter, do drugs or steal. I volunteer on a regular basis, give to charity, vote, serve my jury duty, pay my taxes and haven't killed anyone. Yet.

So as 2008 comes to a close I want to thank my mother and father for making me. I want to thank my grandparents for raising me into a strong woman of color. I want to thank my neighbors and family for molding me and giving me character. Thanks to all my friends who offered a shoulder when I cried and a gave wake up calls when I wallowed in self pity. I hope 2009 finds my grandfather in much better health if it's in God's good graces and I vow to continue to work on self so that I become a better person not only for myself but for those around me- especially to the man that I will marry in less than 9 months.

Fork In The Road

A few months ago I watched a horrible straight to dvd movie with my fiancee called "Fork In The Road". It was produced by a Jamaican company and apparently gets a lot of love back in NY and in Jamaica. As a budding filmmaker I give props to anyone with the guts to get their work out there on the small or silver screens. But come on now. All I have to say is watch it. You'll be disappointed, but hey. It's cold out. You don't have anything else to do.

I digress. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life. After all the changes that came about in my life in 2007 I feel that 2009 needs to usher in even more CHANGE. Just call me Obama Girl out this bitch because it's gotta get better. I won't say it can't get any worse but GOD please give your child a break.

I know that with every life challenge I become stronger. I am a better person because of all the struggles I've been through. Like my cousin said on my wedding website. I'm a pearl. You have to get through the tough exterior to reach the beautiful jewel inside. It's deep down there somewhere. Not everyone can gain access though.

With that being said I know that I need to close some chapters in my life. Many people are taking up space in the prime real estate that is the pre-war Upper East Side condo called MY LIFE. Those people will soon come to find that I won't even entertain the them and all their petty BS anymore. Unless they've been fighting in Iraq, fighting for their life in a hospital or just plain fighting with themselves, everyone in my life knows that I have been through some MAJOR ish over the past month or so. Those who were there for me, thank you. I love you all very much and the blessings that I know God will rain on me in 09 will be yours as well. For those of you too caught up in your own melodramas to even notice that your girl was HURTING and that it took a lot for her to even reach out to you because she doesn't like to show chinks in her armor... You will find yourself on the other side of the locked door to my pre-war condo. Simply put, it's not all about you. And if you feel I'm talking about you, then I probably am.

I hit the road tomorrow, but I promise I will update more. My exploits in Miami are becoming legendary and I want to share. If nothing else this blog will be cathartic to me as I relieve some weight off my shoulders.

Til next time people. I know I lost many of you along the way because I suck I keeping this blog updated but again I'm working on it. :)