Great Escape #3: Fort Lauderdale Beach

I wrote this blog months ago. I want say like over six months ago and saved it as a draft. I'm publishing it now after another washup of a NYE. I swear I'm going to NYC to party this year. I just can't take another boring NYE.

Remind me- what is the allure of South Beach?

Don't get me wrong, I've had some really good times there. I broke my Miami teeth back in the days at The Clevelander (is it ever coming back)? Back when I could actually squeeze into a size 7 I strutted my stuff up and down the sandy shores, club soda in hand, perpetrating like it was vodka. But for me, South Beach lacks something. I think it lacks personality. Alas I divorced SOBE to marry FLLB.

People like lists. So I'll give the people what they want. Here are the top 10 reasons why Fort Lauderdale Beach trumps South Beach:

1. Less traffic: you can't park on the strip that runs along the beach. So traffic is far more free flowing than on Ocean in SOBE.

2. Piggybacking off #1, less pousers: I saw a man with a broken neck getting down at Fat Tuesday's on FLLB. No one would dare make a complete ass out of theirself on SOBE.

3. Parking is existent: There are tons of public parking lots and even a few paid ones sprinkled throughout the FLLB area. A stark contrast to SOBE where your car could easily become a liability.

4. More things to do: Along with a bigger Fat Tuesdays, which is free to get in to, there are a bunch of great restaurants that serve great food that won't put a dent in your wallet. Add in a bunch of nightclubs where people aren't afraid to dance and you're already miles ahead of the game.

5. The ocean is a lot closer to the FLLB shoreline than it is to the SOBE shoreline: How annoying is it to have to carry a heavy cooler, blanket, umbrella a mile down to the ocean? You don't have to worry about all that in Fort Lauderdale. The ocean is literally a few steps away from the sea wall. Bad for residents if a big wave or hurricane washes in. Good for visiting beach bunnies like us. :)

6. The beach is very family friendly: I wouldn't recommend taking your infant to one of the ocean front bars, but you could most certainly take them out on the actual beach for a day of fun in the sun. No worries that your child will see exposed breasts or booty meat hanging out of thongs. True story- I had my kids out on SOBE one Sunday afternoon and there were ACTUAL PORN STARS recruiting men to sleep with them on film back at whatever seedy hotel they had booked for the occasion. Said porn stars APPROACHED not only my brother but MY FIANCEE and I on camera while my kids were but a few feet away. So far that hasn't happened on FLLB and I doubt it ever will.

7. The drive down to the beach is scenic and beautiful: Las Olas Boulevard is spectacular. Water front mini mansions with yatchs docked out back is a dream life and it's nice to be so close to prestige and affluence. You don't have to crane your neck to see Fischer/Star Island while speeding down the interstate or pay $40 to take a boat cruise past mansions. You can drive slowly by and imagine yourself living in the lap of luxury. Aside from the opulent homes there is beautiful blue water, interesting wildlife and swaying palm trees beckoning you to enter into paradise.

8. Like USA Channel, characters are welcome. Self explanatory.

9. Cheaper airfare, cheaper hotels, just cheaper everything.

10. The Hard Rock Casino area. Nuff said.

Consider taking a vacation to Fort Lauderdale and skip Miami. It's your chance to do something different. Everyone does SOBE. But few can say they did FLLB.

My Day At The Historic Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach (Part 3)

Without further adieu here is the third and final part to my story about the day I volunteered at the re-opening of VKBP. You can read parts 1 and 2 in the archives.

My girls and I walked across the park. I was amazed at how big the park really is. It's huge and in my humble opinion it is going to take a lot of man hours on upkeep. That is probably why the VKBP Trust is asking for volunteers to make a commitment to help out for at least five hours on a monthly basis. If you live in the South Florida area and would like to be a part of something historic and truly rewarding please click the link that will follow this post in order to be taken to the VKBP website. You may sign up or request more information there.

Where was I? Oh yes. We walked across the huge park, being stopped every few minutes by park patrons who thought volunteer meant hauling trash cans over to their picnic area. We kindly told them that we were actually headed for an assignment but that they could head back over to the Trust building and make a request. We finally made it over to the V.I.P. tent. It was decked out beautifully and looked very chic. My two girls were quickly brisked away to the back of the tent to help out with the food. I, along with a young man whose name escapes me were stationed at the front of the tent to make sure that anyone trying to gain access to the V.I.P. area had a yellow wristband. And here is where the story goes south.

I come from N.Y., as you all should know by now. Maybe the meaning of V.I.P. is lost on some South Floridians. But in every state in the union V.I.P. stands for Very Important Person. Which means that you have done something, or paid some sum of money, or know someone and because of that you are in an area that is designated as nicer with more perks. It does not mean that you can stroll by, peek in and see wine and delicacy consumption, couches, lighting, etc and think, you can just mosey right on in.

To make a very long story short there was a serious misunderstanding between performers and those running the V.I.P tent. Every performer and member of the performers entourage were told they could come over to the tent after getting off the stage to eat, drink and mingle. That was not communicated to the people in charge of the tent. So when performers including singers, rappers, local djs etc would come to the tent and try to gain access we would tell them they couldn't come in because they didn't have the yellow wristband that must adorn the wrist of every V.I.P member. The people of course threw fits with the expected "Do you know who I am?" spiel. To which we had to call for two of the women who were vouching for people who could bypass us "bouncers" without the wristband.

I try to always exude class and behave like a lady in social settings. But once in a while people can push you to the limit. For the most part everyone was cool, respectful and friendly. But of course you always have the one or two who get what I like to call "extra". It's at those moments where you have to check a man/woman who thinks that a uniform, or in this case a yellow t-shirt means you are there to be talked down to, walked on and/or humiliated.

A few people found themselves on the receiving end of a breakdown. One of which was a member of a performer's entourage who will remain nameless. He was told by organizers that after the performer he was with exited the stage they could all come and eat. They had an entire clique with them including family. Said entourage member came directly up to me though there were two volunteers working the front of the tent at this point. He was full of bravado and bluster, but basically attempted to flip on me because one of his relatives was turned away at the door. I guess he is used to speaking to women in that manner in his usual interactions with them. Unfortunately for him I am not one of those women. I quickly nipped the situation in the bud and let him know a few things. One, that I wasn't the one who turned his relative away. He replied that he wasn't coming off on me, but he was frustrated. I told him to direct his frustrations elsewhere, and to take it down a volume. He rolled his eyes and asked me if I knew who he was. He stated he was in the entourage of a local rapper who again, will remain nameless.

South Floridians reading this blog will think I'm elitist and arrogant. They will take this as validation that all New Yorkers are this way. And maybe we are. But you all must understand. We are just used to moving through life faster and we have little time for b.s. After I told old boy that I was from New York where the real rappers are from and that unless he was exiting the stage with Biggie, Jay Z or Nas he really should come back to the world, he humbled out. He apologized for the disrespect. I guess he realized that wilin' out over a misunderstanding when you are a nobody in the clique of a still a nobody was very uncalled for. I saw him chilling in the tent throughout the night and he was very cool and down to earth after our disagreement. Sometimes it just takes a reality check for people to get their wits about them.

Needless to say this whole wristband thing caused a lot of unnecessary confusion. I think that performers at these types of events need to state how many people they are bringing so that organizers know in advance. Or they need their very own tent. It's that simple. I hate disorganization and the whole V.I.P. situation was all over the place. They definitely need to clean that up before the next big event.

The great thing that came out of working the tent that night was that I met one of the coolest sistas in Miami. She actually works in the same industry as I do and she's very well known in South Florida. We've been e-mailing each other back and forth since the event and have planned to hang out in the future. In fact we're meeting up tomorrow at a function in Coral Gables. I hope that as I come out of my shell I link up with many more accomplished women here. I really want to start building a network here that rivals the one I had back home.

One last tidbit- Jeffrey Osborne was the headlining performer and I didn't get to see one second of his performance because I was working. But I heard the performance and that man still has a set of pipes on him! I'm going to pick up one of his compilation cd's after hearing the great show that he put on.

Well that about sums up how my day went at VKBP. I'll be volunteering there again soon for beach clean up. I'll put up some pictures in my photobucket account for you guys to check out. Here is the VKBP link for the website if you guys want to sign up. Maybe I'll see you at the next event...

http://www.virginiakeybeachpark.net/volunteers.asp

My Day At The Historic Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach (Part 2)

Part 1 to this story is here: http://escapeconcretejungles.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-day-at-historic-re-opening-of.html

I'm not a morning person. I will never be "chipper" with or without coffee. Monday-Friday I have to be at the office by 8 a.m. sharp. So it goes without saying that on Saturday's I like to sleep in- the later the better.

So when I signed up my two girls and I to volunteer at the re-opening of VKBP I took solace in the fact that I wouldn't have to get there until 11:30 a.m. That would mean at least three extra hours of sleep for me. Unfortunately I stayed up until 4 or 5 a.m. that morning so when my alarm rang out I kept hitting the snooze. Somewhere deep down in dreamland I knew I had to get up- I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. After one of the kids dragged me kicking and screaming into the bathroom to get ready I finally became coherent enough to pull myself together and get on the road.

The directions provided to us by Quentin, the volunteer coordinator were great. One of the things that annoys me to no end are people who give bad directions and get you lost in the source, burning gas and precious minutes/hours that you can never get back. But I digress. After a long journey down to the end of I-95 and across a long bridge we arrived to our destination unscathed at 11:40 a.m. Parking was a breeze at this point because the "official" kick-off wasn't until around 1 p.m.

The one thing that kind of rattled me at first was how hot it was that Saturday. It had been cold all throughout the week so I didn't expect the heat to come back full throttle so soon. Worse, the t-shirts they gave us to wear were bright yellow. I could see huge bumble bees and wasps buzzing around the park and I was concerned one of us would get stung at some point during the day. I'm allergic to stings, but decided to play it by ear and hope for the best.


After a somewhat disorganized sign-in process (they should really print out a roster beforehand to avoid confusion on the day of events) the girls and I went inside the VKBP Trust building and changed into our t-shirts. Quentin asked for five volunteers to run a table for the kids. My girls and I, along with two other volunteers named Luz and Victoria were put in charge of "promotions" for the historical exhibits displayed around the park. We strategically placed the table off to the side of the children's playground, stocked up with coloring books, crayons, and paper to make oragami creations and got to work. We quickly designed some oragami boats, paper fortune tellers and drawings of our own and decorated our table with them to spark the children's interest.

We used a hook, line and sinker approach. The decorations were the hook. The line was the opportunity for them to draw and design things of their own. The sinker was that we had a paper called a passport to give to them that listed all the historical exhibits. If the kid's visited each exhibit and got the passport stamped as proof of their visit they could return the passport to us and win a prize. It was a good way to get the children to learn while having fun and enjoying the beautifully renovated park.

The experience was so incredible. My girls, especially my 14 year old loves small children so she was thrilled to help them draw and color all day. When things got slow around our area she would go into the playground and talk to parents to coax them into bringing their children over to our table to draw for us. The parent's and kid's were great for the most part. Of course there was an occasional parent who would make comments like "Saturday is for fun, not for learnin. They learnt all week. No learnin today." But hey. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.


At about 3:30 Quentin came over and scooped up Luz and Victoria because he needed help out in the parking lot directing cars. The kids and I held down the fort until our first shift ended at 4:30. Of course when a day is so blazing hot like that Saturday was the atmosphere must cool itself off. Right before we were scheduled to turn the table over to the next shift the skies opened and started pouring rain. We scrambled to pack everything up in the boxes and ran for shelter in the VKBP Trust building. Once inside we freshened up, cooled down, had a few drinks and just took a breather. I loved working with the kids but I could see the day out in the sun had drained them. I was nursing a major migraine headache myself and considered just going home. But the girls insisted they wanted to stick around for the second shift so I conceded.

Our next assignment would be to work the V.I.P. tent way across the park, over by the soundstage. All throughout the day we had been oblivious to the adult population. We heard the performances and local djs broadcasting from the soundstage but didn't focus on what was being said or what was going down. Anyone who works with children knows they command your full attention. So when we were directed to the V.I.P. section I had no idea what to expect. Let's just say I should have expected the unexpected...