Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed

I'm a Prince fan, but moreso his old music. He does have some newer joints that are solid though- like Incense & Candles, Cinnamon Girl, and Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed. 

Anyway, I wanted to let each and every one of you know that you are those things. You are BEAUTIFUL, LOVED, AND BLESSED. No matter what anyone else says, or doesn't say. I'm not one of those people who spend time dwelling on my "haters", because I'm far more concerned with my "lovers". Don't get me wrong- it's better to let your haters be your motivators than to sit around concerned about what negative energy your detractors are spouting out. However, accentuate the positive. Surround yourself with positive people and things. Put people in your life who are constantly motivating you to do better and to be better. No one who claims to love you should be hurting you, putting you down, or making you feel plain lousy. Also, beware of "frenemies". You know- the people who claim to be your friends but you find yourself in constant competition with them? Your friend should be the main one cheering you on when you achieve your goals- they should not be pointing out how things could have been so much better if you did XYZ. 

Be comfortable in your own skin. I'm the first to admit this wasn't always easy for me. Back in the day I constantly had to have someone around me. I couldn't stand to be alone even for an afternoon. I partied 6 nights a week just to be in the crowd. As I matured and began truly loving myself I quickly realized that with me is where I want to be. I now enjoy those brief moments of solitude where I can work out solutions in my head, or curl up with a good book. Or even veg out on the couch and clean out my dvr which is always at 90 something % full. Me time is critical! 

You may not be on the cover of Vogue, but you're beautiful. You may not have found "the one" yet, but you're loved by someone. And you may not be a millionaire- but you're blessed. You're beautiful because God molded you. You're loved because you love yourself. And you're blessed because you're alive reading this. 

-E.B.

Miami "Cold" Snap

View outside my 3rd floor brownstone apartment in Brooklyn, New York after a snow storm in 2006. Yes, those are two cars next to him.

A friend just called me on some "Wooo Lawd" mess because it's considered "cold" in Miami. I guess, if you have nothing else to compare it to. Don't get me wrong- you need a jacket. But all this "Ooooo it's so cold" and calling on the Lord for 50 degrees and a little wind... Over the top.

Entire street outside that same window.

What do they know about cold so brutal you feel it with every fiber of your being? Wind that takes away your breath in your throat? Cold that makes your eyes water and turn your tears to ice on your cheek? Cold that freezes the tips of ears, noses, fingers and toes? Cold that cracks lips, skin and leather? Cold that makes every orifice in your upper body leak? And what of the snow? Snow that buries everything in it's wake? Including your front steps, your car, your legs up to the knee and your dog if you're silly enough to walk him? But wait. It gets worse! When you make it to a safe haven, away from the cold, wind and possible snow your body begins to thaw out, sending sharp needles of pain throughout your system as the blood begins to flow to those frozen limbs.

View outside my back window. THIS is a good gauge of how rough it was because unlike the front which must be shoveled and paved for pedestrians backyards are left to their own devices until the snow melts.

If you're not stomping snow off your Timbs upon entering a building, or rubbing your hands together while you blow on them to spark a 'lil heat, if you're not covering from toe tip to head top in boots, underarmor, tights, thermal socks, heavy jeans, a knee length or longer fleece lined coat, Isotoner gloves, a t-shirt, a sweater, a scarf long enough to wrap around your chest inside the coat, come up over the neck of the coat to wrap around your neck and come up over your lips right under your eyes which are covered with shades or glasses, replete with a hat, and ear muffs then you my friend ARE NOT COLD. Oh yeah- your little ipods/phones/pads would short out right in your ear if you try to have some tunes to keep your company on your trek ON FOOT through a North East Tundra. So run the 5 feet from your condo to your car that I'm sure has heat to go along with that AC, put on a jacket and suck it up.

Love,

A Nor' Easter.

RYNGRUPEVEF3

The Fleecing of America Part #1: High School Graduations

Some of you may know that my oldest "baby" graduated from High School this past year. Friday, June 11, 2010 to be exact. To make a very long story short, I calculate that I shelled out close to five thousand dollars on her during the course of her senior year.

I know. You're sitting there with your mouth agape. And though I can't remember ALL the fees, I do remember getting a "checklist" when she was a junior. Many of those activities, events and items cost well over $500. There were at least ten things on the list. Now, even though she didn't do all of them, she did enough. Coupled with her cotillion which took place that Sunday, June 13, 2010, I can safely say I spent well over $4,000 on baby girl.

Now, I'm not a penny pincher. Though I am not living as glamorously as I did when I was working in corporate America and getting bonus checks that were 5 digits, I still like to have nice things. I drive a late model car, that I purchased brand new. In fact, out of the five cars I've purchased in my life, three of them were brand new. Though I maintain my hair at home now- it's mostly because I'm trying keep it healthy and getting it fried, dyed and laid to the side every week at Maria's Dominicana Salon or Bonita's Bump N Curl kinda counteract that goal. However, I get my pink and white manicures, pedicures and eyebrows done on the reg. I still shop, eat out, purchase gadgets, do a bit of traveling, tithe (yes, 10%. Praise God from whom all blessings flow). But I'm sorry, thousands of bucks for a graduation, especially in this economy is some bull.

Keep in mind, I just got married last September. We're still paying for something things from that event. Though we paid for a lot of things cash and many other things were gifted to us from family and loved ones- we still paid a pretty penny for our wedding. We had about 100 guests, give or take 5 or 10. We had an open bar at a restaurant that overlooks the water and has an amazing view of the Miami night sky line. We had a lavish buffet, a stretch Hummer... yadda yadda yadda. So yeah. We already paid out the wazoo for our wedding. After all, me and the marriage thing is a ONE time event. So fairy tale it had to be. But over the top graduations... No.

I'm going to her THIRD graduation this year next Tuesday. She graduated from basic training back in September. She graduates from AIT next week. I'm sure the Army will have another 5 graduations before it's all said and done. And of course, she'll graduate from undergrad, grad and hopefully post grad schools. So...

I guess what I'm ranting about is the fact that these companies are pimping the hell out of these kids and their parents. We are not rich. When I had my big corporate America job I was upper middle classed at best. Now that I'm doing my own thing I'm scraping along the fringes of lower middle class, and POOR. So imagine my surprise when my 16 year old junior called me yesterday to tell me that HER ring is pricing out at a cool $700? Her sisters, just last year was $600. Are they mad?

And then if you try to get yours done with another vendor, they bar your child from participating in the ring ceremony which is supposed to be the "official moment when juniors become rising seniors". I saw the sadness in my 16 year olds eyes when I said "Hell to the no!" Well, actually I said "Absolutely not!", but I was thinking the former. Of course, after thinking about it, I can NOT deny her what her sister had just last year. Especially when she's doing so well in school, and balances all her activities and studies to perfection. In fact, because she's such a super girl, she's being honored at an event this Saturday. She won't even be around to accept the award (I'm accepting it on her behalf). She'll be out of town at a weekend conference for one of her organizations. Did I mention she's also been tapped to be on the Board of Directors at a non-profit that mentors inner city youth? So yeah, she deserves to get the ring she wants. But why does it have to be so damned expensive?!

Last point- after my oldest graduated last year there was this vendor outside selling replicas of their diplomas at $35 a pop. I know how much it costs to make those little plaque thingys. En masse- probably about $5 each. So do the math. 700 graduating seniors x $30 profits = $21,000 at ONE graduation. These companies are coming up on us and pimping us for every dollar in our pocket and we just smile and ask may we have another. I promise if we have more kids we won't even get sucked into this mess. And they won't know any better because we never exposed them to any of it to begin with.

#END RANT#

Happy Anniversary! 1+ Year Post Relaxer

As I stated in my earlier blog about Brazillian Keratin Treatments I am transitioning my hair from relaxed to natural, which for me will mean relaxer free. It has been a long journey full of self discovery and enlightnment, but it has also had some low points like close mindedness from others, setbacks (I lost about a sixth of my hair on one side due to someone who was doing my hair not taking the time to detangle properly) and just downright fatigue.

As I stated in another post It's Just Hair! Don't make it more than it is. Do what you want to do with your hair because at the end of the day what you put in yours doesn't hinder or benefit mine and vice versa. I am a very strong minded person and don't mind having a discussion about an issue, but make no mistake about it- once my mind is made up it's made up and nothing you say or do will change my opinion. 

Unlike some women who have chosen this journey, I don't look down on women who continue to relax their hair. Shoot, everyone who knows me KNOWS I love a freshly done Dominican blow out. I loved the way my hair looked relaxed. The thing was, it was TOO relaxing. It gets boring after a while. There is but so much you can do with bone straight hair. Going natural means I can be bone straight on Friday and curly wild child tresses on Sunday. That's the versatiliy of it all. Also, I think we all know that any type of chemcial altering to your hair damages it by design. The actual process of chemically treating your hair means you are breaking down the hair strand to rebuild it into something else. Whether that rebuilding means straight to curly, curly to straight, keratin in gaps, dark hair stripped to apply a lighter color etc, your hair is forever changed. Eventually thinning will occur because hair can't withstand all that forever. And don't come telling me about your relaxed hair grandnana who still has hair to her butt. It may be to her butt- but is it full and healthy? I would never trade long hair for healthy hair. If my hair was a finger snap long but full, healthy and shiny as opposed to waist length and ratty with see-through ends I'll stick with finger snap all day long.

But yeah, happy anniversary to me! I had planned on blowing out my hair this week to see how much it has grown but I'm good. I really don't care. I wear it twisted most of the time anyway so it doesn't matter at this juncture how long it is. I just can't wait to trim off the last of these straight ends! 

Here are some pictures I took the other night with my phone. Not the best resolution but you get the point.

Lata!

HAIR IN 4 SECTIONS. MAKES FOR EASY WASHING AND DETANGLING. I'LL EXPLAIN IN A LATER BLOG.

HAIR IS PAST SHOULDERS

NEED TO CLIP THESE SCRAGGLY ENDS! BUT STILL WANNA ROCK A PONYTAIL EVERY NOW AND THEN SO FOR NOW I WAIT!

 

CURLY ROOTS, RELAXED ENDS. CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE JUST ONE TEXTURE!!!

Nearly 1 Year Post Relaxer...

I know, I don't update. But reading an article a friend sent me about the dangers of Brazillian Keratin Treatments, or BKT as some ladies call it, I felt compelled to say something.

First, I got a Brazillian Keratin treament earlier this year. I was convinced by my stylist and a good friend of mine that it would help me in my journey away from chemicals and into my natural haired state. The reasons why I took the plunge were:

1. I was having a lot of issues with my hair. To this day I think I had the urban myth of scab hair on my head. After I stopped using relaxers I thought that the full, thick, kinky curly tresses of my childhood that I would see in my new growth would quickly reappear. They didn't, and instead an ugly, dry tangled mat of unruliness adorned the top of my head to the point where I wanted to slap a perm in it and keep it moving. BKT seemed like a less caustic alternative.

2. I was told that BKT was made up mostly of keratin, which is supposedly healthy for your hair.

3. BKT was supposed to "fill the gaps in my hair cuticles" that had been damaged by relaxers, styling and heat.

4. Though my hair would still look beautiful when blown straight, it lacked shine. I was told that BKT would give me that glossy look that I had been so used to my whole relaxed life.

5. I like being the first among my friends to do stuff. I like to be the trendsetter, not the follower. ;)

Here are the reasons I STOPPED BKT'ing after that one time. No, I do NOT use BKT on my hair any longer and heres why:

1. It's too expensive! Who has $200+ to spend in one sitting? In addition to the regular visits to the stylist?

2. It's too caustic. I shouldn't be about to faint from the smell of my stylist applying it. Similarly, she should not be donning a gas mask and butchers apron with gloves up to her arpits either. If the stylist needs THAT much protection from the chemical during the application process why the heck should I put that mess on my HEAD?

3. It's still a chemical. Stopping relaxers and opting for BKT instead is doing nothing but going from one chemical dependency to another.

4. After you first get it done you can't get your hair wet for like 3 days. I live in South Florida. Sometimes I get caught in the rain. I also can't take a shower without the nape of my hair getting wet. $250 down the drain is not a good look.

5. Though my hair was fly afterwards, it wasn't fly enough to justify aallllll that stuff I just listed. I'll put up some pictures of my hair relaxer straight and BKT straight and you be the judge.

So there you have it. Ladies you make the decision for what is right for YOUR head. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life or to argue about what's healthy, cost effecient or whatever. But for Ms. Escape Brooklyn, I'll stick to the basics in hair care from now on.

Doing Me

It's a truly rewarding experience to work for self.

I punch no time clocks.

I answer to no one.

If I don't work, I don't eat. It's incentive stay busy and stay on my grind.

To that end, it feels so good to go that extra mile to the benefit of myself and my own family. When you work for others all your hard work is strictly for them. Yes, you may get a pat on the back. Maybe even a little bonus or a promotion. But nothing beats doing it for dolo.

I realize that I didn't mention that I am no longer with that large South Florida non-profit. Yes, I'm on my own now. My client roster is growing by the day. I realized something was wrong when I started turning down clients to keep my day job. It quickly dawned on me I could make more money on my own than working for someone else.

It's not just about the money though. Money isn't everything. As the greatest book in the world states "The love of money is the root of all evil." So I try not to base my happiness or lack thereof on whether I do or don't have money. As long as my family is "comfortable" and not wanting for anything I am good!

It's about being able to take vacations when I want.

It's about being able to work on my schedule.

It's about staying home to raise my children. I was never in daycare a day in my life. I have vowed that I would never put my children there either.

It's about being in traffic on the way to fun. Not because I'm in some cranky commute.

So stay with me as I take a leap out on faith. I can always go back to work for someone else if this doesn't pan out. But so far everything is looking beautiful!

All I do is win, win, win no matter what!

Well, not really. But you're never too old for make believe. :)

I took a great social media course by Manny Sarmiento. To say that he's a guru would be an understatement. People, if you're looking to learn the nuts and bolts of this new world of marketing please track Manny down and sign up for one of his courses. If you think that you're on the cusp of social media simply because you have a facebook fan page and twitter page you are wrong! There's so much more to it.

For example, I was breezing through Facebook today and a friend of mine had yet another annoying sales pitch urging readers to call her 800 number to get into some MLM program she's in. She probably thinks she'll grow her business that way, and that's usually how people pitch their products. But honestly, would YOU call her 800 number when hit with a daily barrage of messages selling you something? No? Then don't do it to other people. There's a trick to lure in buyers but that aint it. Manny will tell you how it's done. To that end, this blog, and my church's blog will be updated more regularly. So no more months between posts. You'll get something fresh out the oven at least twice a week.

I can go on and on about Manny's courses (which will be offered as a full fledged certification program at Millennia Atlantic University soon). But what I really want to say is that I have so much I want to accomplish in 2010 and the year is half way out. Right now I'm working on completing the mba primer so I can attend graduate school. I just started a new job about 3 months ago. I am the Communications and PR manager for a large South Florida non-profit. That job keeps me plenty busy, along with my side business which is a fledgling media company that does film/photography/web. My 18 year old is weeks from graduating High School, so there's senior prom, her cotillion, and graduation coming up. I'm in the process of moving into a new house. My husband just had knee surgery. I am super busy on committees at my church- oh yeah, so stay tuned for tomorrows blog. We have a historic event coming up that I want half of Miami to attend!

My life is just so full. So if you look back at my old blog posts where my life was pretty sparse and fastfoward a few years to what's going on now... night and day. I thank GOD for all his blessings! God has definitely been working in my life so I will always give him all the praise, honor and glory! Amen!

Post Turkey/Black Fri Day Check In

I absolutely have not forgotten about my readers, as dwindling as that number may have become. I guess I neglect this page for the same reason I can't get into twitter. Though I love to write, I just can't do it on command like that. And if I have nothing to say, I don't write. So much has happened since my last post and I would love to share it with the world- or at least the faithful readers that remain. I'll play with the privacy settings to go in about a few things that I don't want to necessarily be public right now. What I can share with the world is that I am almost finished with a portfolio that encompasses ALL my work. At first I had one that was strictly photographic in nature but since who I am is so much more than a photog I decided to pull together the whole kit and kaboodle. I'll post it here when it's done.

How have you all been? Feel free to bang back: escapebrooklyn[at]gmail.com . Besitos.