The Fleecing of America Part #1: High School Graduations

Some of you may know that my oldest "baby" graduated from High School this past year. Friday, June 11, 2010 to be exact. To make a very long story short, I calculate that I shelled out close to five thousand dollars on her during the course of her senior year.

I know. You're sitting there with your mouth agape. And though I can't remember ALL the fees, I do remember getting a "checklist" when she was a junior. Many of those activities, events and items cost well over $500. There were at least ten things on the list. Now, even though she didn't do all of them, she did enough. Coupled with her cotillion which took place that Sunday, June 13, 2010, I can safely say I spent well over $4,000 on baby girl.

Now, I'm not a penny pincher. Though I am not living as glamorously as I did when I was working in corporate America and getting bonus checks that were 5 digits, I still like to have nice things. I drive a late model car, that I purchased brand new. In fact, out of the five cars I've purchased in my life, three of them were brand new. Though I maintain my hair at home now- it's mostly because I'm trying keep it healthy and getting it fried, dyed and laid to the side every week at Maria's Dominicana Salon or Bonita's Bump N Curl kinda counteract that goal. However, I get my pink and white manicures, pedicures and eyebrows done on the reg. I still shop, eat out, purchase gadgets, do a bit of traveling, tithe (yes, 10%. Praise God from whom all blessings flow). But I'm sorry, thousands of bucks for a graduation, especially in this economy is some bull.

Keep in mind, I just got married last September. We're still paying for something things from that event. Though we paid for a lot of things cash and many other things were gifted to us from family and loved ones- we still paid a pretty penny for our wedding. We had about 100 guests, give or take 5 or 10. We had an open bar at a restaurant that overlooks the water and has an amazing view of the Miami night sky line. We had a lavish buffet, a stretch Hummer... yadda yadda yadda. So yeah. We already paid out the wazoo for our wedding. After all, me and the marriage thing is a ONE time event. So fairy tale it had to be. But over the top graduations... No.

I'm going to her THIRD graduation this year next Tuesday. She graduated from basic training back in September. She graduates from AIT next week. I'm sure the Army will have another 5 graduations before it's all said and done. And of course, she'll graduate from undergrad, grad and hopefully post grad schools. So...

I guess what I'm ranting about is the fact that these companies are pimping the hell out of these kids and their parents. We are not rich. When I had my big corporate America job I was upper middle classed at best. Now that I'm doing my own thing I'm scraping along the fringes of lower middle class, and POOR. So imagine my surprise when my 16 year old junior called me yesterday to tell me that HER ring is pricing out at a cool $700? Her sisters, just last year was $600. Are they mad?

And then if you try to get yours done with another vendor, they bar your child from participating in the ring ceremony which is supposed to be the "official moment when juniors become rising seniors". I saw the sadness in my 16 year olds eyes when I said "Hell to the no!" Well, actually I said "Absolutely not!", but I was thinking the former. Of course, after thinking about it, I can NOT deny her what her sister had just last year. Especially when she's doing so well in school, and balances all her activities and studies to perfection. In fact, because she's such a super girl, she's being honored at an event this Saturday. She won't even be around to accept the award (I'm accepting it on her behalf). She'll be out of town at a weekend conference for one of her organizations. Did I mention she's also been tapped to be on the Board of Directors at a non-profit that mentors inner city youth? So yeah, she deserves to get the ring she wants. But why does it have to be so damned expensive?!

Last point- after my oldest graduated last year there was this vendor outside selling replicas of their diplomas at $35 a pop. I know how much it costs to make those little plaque thingys. En masse- probably about $5 each. So do the math. 700 graduating seniors x $30 profits = $21,000 at ONE graduation. These companies are coming up on us and pimping us for every dollar in our pocket and we just smile and ask may we have another. I promise if we have more kids we won't even get sucked into this mess. And they won't know any better because we never exposed them to any of it to begin with.

#END RANT#

Moving Right Along...

I may not have a lot of money. I may not be the picture of perfect health. I may not be exactly where I want to be in life. But you know what? i am HAPPY. For the first time in my life I can say I an truly happy even through all lifes trials and trips.

I think it has a lot to do with me going back to church. My grandmother begged me for years to get back active in church and I resisted her at every turn. In a nutshell I thought church was for losers. Yes I loved The Lord and considered myself to be a God fearing individual. But sit up in a holier than thou sweaty hot church all day on a Sunday when I could be napping, eating out, on the beach, or just staring at the four corners of my living room? No thanks.

I found myself walking through the open door at Church of the Open Door on First Sunday, March 1, 2009. I admit I was skeptical. I thought I'd find myself in the midst of naive old ladies pouring their life savings into some charlatans fat daddy pockets. Said fat daddy would be pushing a benz through the streets of Miami while the little old ladies tinkered around in 1987 Dodge Darts. Suffice to say I was VERY pleasantly surprised to be greeted with warm embraces, open hearts and kind words. I truly feel that my church- yes, MY church because I took my new member vows on Sunday May 2, 2009- accepted my girls and I as part of the family and I have never felt so tranquil. So at ease. So lovED and lovING. People warn me not to spread myself too thin in working for the church but I love servicing and doing the work of The Lord. As I pinned pink flower after pink flower, made pink bow after pink bow and toiled away to awash The Lyric Theater in pink my mind was in a calm state of nirvana. I was humming. ME, humming!

I could go on and on and on, but I think it's obvious that I an passionate about my faith and my church. I can't wait until tomorrow! We kick off our 41st Annual Pink Tea and paint the city of Miami PINK! I got the cutest matching outfits for the girls. One is almost 18 and the other is 15- far too old for dressing alike but the outfits were so hot that I had to get them for the girls. I will put up pictures of the event sometime next week.

In the meantime here is a picture of our wedding cake tasting that took place today.

We decided on a 5 tier buttercreme cake with 3 layers in vanilla rum, the other 2 in amaretto. The picture to the left is what it will look like except with the extra 5th tier. The flowers on top will be baby pink and white. It's going to be soooo beautiful! The closer I get to our wedding day and the more we confirm details the more excited I become. I'm practically bouncing off the walls at 1 in the morning!

Full Day

Yesterday started out at snails pace. I took a Zyrtec pill at around 630am and I was super drowsy at work. I found myself passing out at my desk several times. I don't know how I made it but even with one of my feet in dreamland, the other in reality I managed to accomplish so much yesterday. I was so proud of myself I bragged to my brother, sister and fiancée about what a busy bee I was! I completed:

1) The first pre-martial counseling session with my pastor and my fiancée. It went very well and I was so happy that my man opened up to someone who, in essence, is a complete stranger to him. I see these next 4 meetings being very productive and I can't wait until next month to tackle more marital solutions. We also put the official date on the pastors calendar, and booked the church for the actual ceremony.

2) I was on the fence about which bakery I was going to choose to do our cake. In the end, the lack of a selection from Bakery A made me go with Bakery B, which is Cake Designs by Edda. I made an appointment for us to have a tasting next Saturday and let them know which cake I was leaning towards so that they would definitely have that sample available.

3) I took a power nap on my fiancée's lap. It felt sooo good! I don't require a lot of sleep to survive but I was crashing yesterday. I woke up charged and ready to go after 9pm last night and this is when I accomplished most of my tasks.

4) I FINALLY completed our first wedding guest list. There are 180+ people on the list. I pray that 80 people decline though so I can get the number right at 100. LOL! No seriously I wish we had room for every family member and every friend that we both have but we are paying per plate and as anyone who has ever had a big wedding knows - it can be very expensive. Most of the people we invited have to come from out of state to attend so there may be a lot of declines from NY, Jamaica, NC etc. But everyone in Florida will most likely make it so I know that a wonderful time will be had by all.

5) I sent out requests for physical addresses for all invited guests. They have started filtering in as of this morning. It seems like maintaing this will be a lot of work so I will probably ask my matron or maid of honor to keep the list updated for me.

6) Finally got my brother to take the HUGE bag of clothes out of my living room to be donated. The bag was heavier than a dead body and packed with brand new and gently used teenage clothes. I tried to donate them to my church by they keep their pantry small so it wasn't an option. My brother knows of a place that gives away donations to domestic abuse victims and of course I was happy to oblige. It felt good knowing that someone else can benefit from us.

7) Began working on a grass roots publicity campaign for our 41st Annual Pink Tea. You can click the link for details.

I think there is more, but that should be enough for now. I do know that I have made a comittment not to take on any more projects. So...

My wedding
Helping my grandmother get her fiances back in order
Preparing my 15 year old for her boyfriends senior prom
Readying myself for a prospect I have been working on for years
The 41st Annual Pink Tea.
Weight Watchers

Are on the front burner right now. Everything else will have to wait until after the wedding. My plate runneth over!

Family Ties

The older I get, the more I value my "blood ties".

Much as I am ashamed to admit it, as a teenager I shunned my family. I felt disconnected and wanted nothing more than to escape. My mother gave birth to me at a very young age and it shaped my views on the world around me- and not always in a positive way. I wasn't starving in the streets or anything like that. But I didn't have a Cosby type of childhood and I can't help but feel that if it wasn't for my grandparents my life would be the polar opposite of what it is now. I don't want to delve into details- but let's just say that teen parenthood, drugs and a short lifespan are just a few things that were at the end of the path that I would have been on had it not been for Miss Estelle and Mr. Cliff.

Fastforward to 2008. My grandfather is laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. I am struggling to keep my sanity as the only real father figure I ever had withers away in front of my eyes. My kid sister who I vowed never to speak to again exactly two years ago has popped back up in our lives and the jury is still out on whether or not she can be trusted. My first cousin who has always been the shining white knight of the family has major chinks in his armor that is showing signs of rust. My fiancee doesn't have the luxury of a smooth, gradual transition into meeting my maternal family. He is thrust into face first- with all the drama, all the jockeying for power, all the animosity, the grudges- the EVERYTHING. The fact that he still wants my hand in marriage after that introduction into my family is... a miracle.

Yet through it all, I realize that family is the most important thing in the world to any of us. Instead of envying others it's dawning on me that it could be a lot worse. Though my mother would have never won any Mom of the Year awards- she didn't Caylee me and cut my life short before it even started. She did her best and I'm here. I am a good mother, a good fiancee and future wife. A fair and competent boss. A PHENOMENAL friend- even to those who don't deserve it. A spiritual woman who loves The Lord and doesn't let a day go by without connecting with Him in my own way. A wonderful though controlling family member to my relatives (I'm working on it). A solid, law abiding citizen when so many are out here getting theirs by any means necessary. Ok, I speed and break traffic laws but I don't litter, do drugs or steal. I volunteer on a regular basis, give to charity, vote, serve my jury duty, pay my taxes and haven't killed anyone. Yet.

So as 2008 comes to a close I want to thank my mother and father for making me. I want to thank my grandparents for raising me into a strong woman of color. I want to thank my neighbors and family for molding me and giving me character. Thanks to all my friends who offered a shoulder when I cried and a gave wake up calls when I wallowed in self pity. I hope 2009 finds my grandfather in much better health if it's in God's good graces and I vow to continue to work on self so that I become a better person not only for myself but for those around me- especially to the man that I will marry in less than 9 months.

Been Gone For A Minute...

Now I'm BACK with the jump off... :)

I've been seriously slacking on my blogging as of late, and I apologize. I've been super busy in my off-line life. What could possibly keep me away from writing about my Miami escapades, you ask? Well there is the small fact that I am getting married! Yes, oh yes, oh yes! My fiancee popped the question on Wednesday March 26, 2008 and I said yes! So I've been a busy little bee preparing for our big day. Of course this blog will double as a chronicle of my MIA exploits and wedding planning. So stay tuned because the best is yet to come!

In the meantime, check out this clip of the Queen of Blue Eyed Soul, Taylor Dayne rip it at Miami's Jazz on the Bay. So you can't say I left you hanging for a 30days+ and didn't bring you back anything. :)



Shout outs to SoHood305 and BriaMia for the e-mails. I promise to update at least once a week from here on out.