Giving to the Needy or Being Played For a Fool?

I used to work for a non profit that helped needy people. But even before that I understood that if I wanted to help the needy I had to be sure to give in the appropriate place and time. So instead of handing a dollar to a homeless person why not get your organization to sponsor an meal for an entire shelter of homeless people? That way you know your dollars are going into filling the bellies of people who really need food- and not into the arm of a junkie. Are all homeless people on drugs? Of course not. But there is a better chance of your dollar doing the most good if you give to the organization that is set up to help. Besides, if the non profit is set up correctly they should be giving more than just food. They should be providing housing, rehab programs, job placement and other tools for transitioning from a life on the streets into self reliance.

The other day I was in Tallahassee dropping my youngest off at college. We had purchased a lot of her stuff in Miami, but some things needed to wait until we got to the school- like food. Whenever we wanted to hit a store we would plug the name into the gps and drive to the nearest location. In this instance we were looking for a Family Dollar. The closest one ended up being in a not so nice neighborhood. I'm never uncomfortable in those situations though. I'm from New York City, there isn't much that fazes me in that regard. But the minute I put my foot out the car a woman appeared out of nowhere. "Hello," she stated, locking eyes with me, clearly oblivious to my discomfort. "Hi," I said cautiously, being sure to check my surroundings to make sure she wasn't distracting me while something else was going on. My youngest was busy taking our purses from the car and securing the vehicle. When she was finished I remotely locked the doors to ensure the items we had just purchased from Wal-Mart, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target etc were safe. We started walking towards the Family Dollar. We didn't get two feet before the woman screamed "I need pads. I got my period." I shot a confused look at the woman. "Ok..." I mumbled. "You're not gonna help me out?" she demanded angrily. I gave the woman the illest mean mug from the depths of Bed Sty Brooklyn. Sensing that we were not the garden variety family who she could punk out of a few dollars, the woman took off. 

I was incensed. When did it become appropriate to announce in a parking lot that you have your period, and demand that strangers purchase sanitary napkins for you?! Seriously?! We have GOT to do better. This female was clearly not homeless. She was decently dressed. Her hair was done. If I remember correctly she had on sunglasses. I mean really? If she was that bad off any shelter in the city would have given her a care package if she spent the night. That would be far more dignified than trolling parking lots for help. Part of me believes she was making it up for money for drugs. Because I can't bring myself to believe that a woman would get her hair done, buy shades, do all these things and not have those items taken care of. Wow.

Then, on the way back to Miami, my car was running low on gas. I was in Broward county- but I was still too far from home to risk making it all the way to the house. So I came off the turnpike and hit the first gas station I passed which was some off brand Amerika gas or something. It was dark, so I looked around to check out the area before pumping my gas. I also always remove my keys from the ignition and lock my car doors when I pump gas. That way anyone trying to sneak on the other side to open the door to steal my purse or anything else while I'm distracted will be sadly deterred by a locked door. Think I'm paranoid? This happened to several of my friends- including my husband who actually had his car MOVED FROM THE PUMP while he went inside the pay for his gas. Anyway this man appeared out of nowhere and asked "Can you give me a half a tank of gas?" I looked at him like he was crazy. He proceeded to tell me that he had just dropped his sister off at a homeless shelter in Broward and he needed gas to get back to Miami. As he's talking he's inching closer and closer to me. I'd had enough and told him "Back up." Startled with my aggressive tone, he asked "Do you want to see what a brown recluse spider bite looks like?" and held out his arm as if I were going to come closer. When he saw I wasn't playing the game he was trying to play he disappeared as quickly as he appeared. I finished pumping my gas and high tailed it out of there.

From pads to half tanks of gas, people have no problem asking strangers for ridiculous items as if said strangers owe them a debt. I give generously to charity and work hundreds of community service hours yearly. It was mandatory that my children did as well. However, don't play me for a fool. I was born at night- not last night. If you see me, bypass with all that nonsense. If you are in Miami and you ask me for money or food I will hand you a card to the Miami HAC. There you will find three hots, a cot, a warm shower each night, job placement assistance, clothing, and other tools to help you help yourself. If you're not ready to take that step I will pray with you. But I will not hand over my hard earned so that you can line your pockets for a day of adventure. And no one will make me feel bad about that fact. I've been everything from a hungry broke college student, to a hot shot media maven with a combined household income of well into six figures, back down to an unemployed media maven who still had thousands of dollars of monthly household expenses and a fraction of my normal salary coming in. I had to make it work somehow- and for years I did just that. Without resorting to demanding things from strangers. It can be done! Everything else is just a sad excuse. //End Rant//

Miami "Cold" Snap

View outside my 3rd floor brownstone apartment in Brooklyn, New York after a snow storm in 2006. Yes, those are two cars next to him.

A friend just called me on some "Wooo Lawd" mess because it's considered "cold" in Miami. I guess, if you have nothing else to compare it to. Don't get me wrong- you need a jacket. But all this "Ooooo it's so cold" and calling on the Lord for 50 degrees and a little wind... Over the top.

Entire street outside that same window.

What do they know about cold so brutal you feel it with every fiber of your being? Wind that takes away your breath in your throat? Cold that makes your eyes water and turn your tears to ice on your cheek? Cold that freezes the tips of ears, noses, fingers and toes? Cold that cracks lips, skin and leather? Cold that makes every orifice in your upper body leak? And what of the snow? Snow that buries everything in it's wake? Including your front steps, your car, your legs up to the knee and your dog if you're silly enough to walk him? But wait. It gets worse! When you make it to a safe haven, away from the cold, wind and possible snow your body begins to thaw out, sending sharp needles of pain throughout your system as the blood begins to flow to those frozen limbs.

View outside my back window. THIS is a good gauge of how rough it was because unlike the front which must be shoveled and paved for pedestrians backyards are left to their own devices until the snow melts.

If you're not stomping snow off your Timbs upon entering a building, or rubbing your hands together while you blow on them to spark a 'lil heat, if you're not covering from toe tip to head top in boots, underarmor, tights, thermal socks, heavy jeans, a knee length or longer fleece lined coat, Isotoner gloves, a t-shirt, a sweater, a scarf long enough to wrap around your chest inside the coat, come up over the neck of the coat to wrap around your neck and come up over your lips right under your eyes which are covered with shades or glasses, replete with a hat, and ear muffs then you my friend ARE NOT COLD. Oh yeah- your little ipods/phones/pads would short out right in your ear if you try to have some tunes to keep your company on your trek ON FOOT through a North East Tundra. So run the 5 feet from your condo to your car that I'm sure has heat to go along with that AC, put on a jacket and suck it up.

Love,

A Nor' Easter.

RYNGRUPEVEF3

Church of the Open Door Women's Weekend 2010

 

Living and Working to promote God's Will is the theme of this years Women's Weekend! Our featured guest speaker is the amazing Bernadette A. Morris, CEO of Sonshine Communications, Black PR Wire and Women Grow Strong. These workshops are FREE to the public and include continental breakfast and lunch. You may register on our website, http://churchoftheopendoormiami.org/ or by e-mailing secretary@churchoftheopendoormiami.org. See you there!

The 42nd Annual Pink Tea Concert featuring Alice Day, Internationally Renowned Jazz Vocalist and Miami Born Star

THE CHURCH OF THE OPEN DOOR (UCC)

TO HOLD

42^ND ANNUAL PINK TEA CONCERT

FEATURING WORLD RENOWNED JAZZ ARTIST

ALICE DAY

Jazz Great Alice Day will perform many of her international jazz hits!

WHO: The Church of the Open Door (UCC) and Jazz Artist Alice Day.

WHAT: The Church of the Open Door (UCC) in Miami will hold its 42^nd Annual Pink Tea Concert with jazz artist Alice Day as headliner. The Pink Tea Concert is The Church of the Open Door’s annual fundraiser. All donations generated by the concert will benefit the church mission and wider church ministries supporting the local community, disaster relief, children, hunger, and homeless ministries.

WHEN: Sunday, May 16, 2010, at 4:00 p.m.

WHERE: The Church of the Open Door 6001 NW 8^th Avenue Miami FL, 33127

WHY: Brenda Wilson, President of Circle 1 of the Women’s Fellowship, Church of the Open Door Miami said “We are thrilled to continue our legacy of magnificent entertainment at our Pink Tea Concert with world renowned Alice Day as our guest artist. We expect this to be a fabulous event!”

The Church of the Open Door Congregational, United Church of Christ (UCC) is a steady growth church in Miami, Florida. Our church has a rich legacy and history beginning in May 1958 and spanning over fifty years. As we journey through the next fifty years we aim to continue to grow in membership, faith, and community outreach. The Church of the Open Door objective is to bind together followers of Jesus Christ for the purpose of sharing in the worship of God and making His will dominate in the lives of people, individually and collectively, especially as that will is set forth in the life, teachings, death, resurrection, and the living presence of Jesus Christ. Our vision statement, adopted in June 2003, proclaims that We shall be a Holy Spirit filled Church, obeying the Word of God, serving and advancing the purity, power and passion of Jesus Christ, while capturing and empowering God's Community. Our mission is to holistically empower the members of our Church and our Community, while serving as an Oasis of Resources for those who are in a Desert of Need. For additional information go to:

http://churchoftheopendoormiami.org/