I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane...

"It's been through hell and back" I joked with my husband as I tossed my battered, ripped, taped together, on-its-last-legs statistics book on the couch. I no longer need the book- the class ended June 17th. However, since my UPS delivery guy decided not to leave my package full of books for the new quarter at my doorstep, I needed the book one more time. There are some distribution tables I needed to access for my Quantitative Methods quiz.

So, because my mind always wanders (it's the poet in me), I started thinking about why my book was so beat down. Then I realized, the book has traveled up and down the eastern seaboard. In less than 3 months the book was in Miami Florida, Greenville North Carolina, New York City, Atlanta Georgia and Jacksonville Florida. My book has traveled more than my husband has in the past year. Yes, this book has been on adventures a plenty with me, and it kind of makes me smile.

The thing is, I have always been an adventurer. I have wanderlust pumping through my veins. A psychic once told me that I would live many places but would always return home (NY). I am only in my mid 30s and have lived many places, and lived in NY on two separate occasions long term. I have dreams of backpacking across Europe with nothing but a Eurail pass and a few Euros, but I think I'm too old for that now. However I am saving like crazy to make sure that I can afford to give my 18 year old that trip when she graduates in 2016. 

It amazes me to meet or hear of people who have never left their little corner of the earth. Whether it's a small town in the middle of Podunk USA or the borough of Queens, New York, or a small village in China, or the island of Manhattan. I think everyone should have at least one major adventure in their life. 

Most people think all NYers are big city slickers. But as I stated in the previous paragraph, there ARE people who stick to their their borough and/or nabe and never venture outside their comfort zone. I remember my mom used to have a friend who begged my mother to chaperone her on every trip into "the city" (Manhattan, or New York, New York to outsiders). Said friend didn't know how to take the train/subway and clearly didn't want to learn. So every time she had an interview or any business to conduct in Manhattan she would enlist my mom to help her navigate.

Even though it's fiction- there was an episode of Sex & The City which featured a guy who felt like he never needed to leave Manhattan because it had everything he needed. Art imitates life, so I'm sure that character was based on a real person.

I feel blessed to have family and friends in so many different cities. It allows me to travel extensively and enjoy life. I even went to San Juan Puerto Rico by myself once on the way to Saint Croix. I walked the streets alone, went to the beach alone, ate alone, swam in the pool alone, shopped alone, etc. Everyone warned me it could be dangerous. But my Spanish is decent, and I'm pretty fearless. I love traveling enough to do it alone.

I could keep typing forever, but my point is- don't let life pass you by. Remember that old Tribe Called Quest song? Take a globe. Spin it. Stop it with your fingertip. Wherever it lands- (outside a war zone) book a ticket. If you can't book a ticket right at that moment commit to saving a little from each paycheck until you save up enough for that ticket. Book the ticket far in advance, to give you time to save for the hotel and spending money. When you're ready, reserve your room. Then try to save at least $700-$1000 for spending money. And you're off! 

If you can't afford this adventure, consider a cruise. A cruise is an affordable way to get to an exotic locale without worrying about hotel costs and food. You just have to get to the cruise ship. The ship docks in each port of call and you will need some spending money to enjoy the shore excursions there. If you can't afford shore excursions, secure a safe taxi to go to a tourist safe beach or shopping area. But if you can't afford taxis you can stay on the ship and play in the pool, or take part in the many shipboard activities. 

So there you have it. There is no excuse for you not to see the world! Have fun- and be sure to let me know how it turns out. I love vacation pictures. :)

Great Escape #3: Fort Lauderdale Beach

I wrote this blog months ago. I want say like over six months ago and saved it as a draft. I'm publishing it now after another washup of a NYE. I swear I'm going to NYC to party this year. I just can't take another boring NYE.

Remind me- what is the allure of South Beach?

Don't get me wrong, I've had some really good times there. I broke my Miami teeth back in the days at The Clevelander (is it ever coming back)? Back when I could actually squeeze into a size 7 I strutted my stuff up and down the sandy shores, club soda in hand, perpetrating like it was vodka. But for me, South Beach lacks something. I think it lacks personality. Alas I divorced SOBE to marry FLLB.

People like lists. So I'll give the people what they want. Here are the top 10 reasons why Fort Lauderdale Beach trumps South Beach:

1. Less traffic: you can't park on the strip that runs along the beach. So traffic is far more free flowing than on Ocean in SOBE.

2. Piggybacking off #1, less pousers: I saw a man with a broken neck getting down at Fat Tuesday's on FLLB. No one would dare make a complete ass out of theirself on SOBE.

3. Parking is existent: There are tons of public parking lots and even a few paid ones sprinkled throughout the FLLB area. A stark contrast to SOBE where your car could easily become a liability.

4. More things to do: Along with a bigger Fat Tuesdays, which is free to get in to, there are a bunch of great restaurants that serve great food that won't put a dent in your wallet. Add in a bunch of nightclubs where people aren't afraid to dance and you're already miles ahead of the game.

5. The ocean is a lot closer to the FLLB shoreline than it is to the SOBE shoreline: How annoying is it to have to carry a heavy cooler, blanket, umbrella a mile down to the ocean? You don't have to worry about all that in Fort Lauderdale. The ocean is literally a few steps away from the sea wall. Bad for residents if a big wave or hurricane washes in. Good for visiting beach bunnies like us. :)

6. The beach is very family friendly: I wouldn't recommend taking your infant to one of the ocean front bars, but you could most certainly take them out on the actual beach for a day of fun in the sun. No worries that your child will see exposed breasts or booty meat hanging out of thongs. True story- I had my kids out on SOBE one Sunday afternoon and there were ACTUAL PORN STARS recruiting men to sleep with them on film back at whatever seedy hotel they had booked for the occasion. Said porn stars APPROACHED not only my brother but MY FIANCEE and I on camera while my kids were but a few feet away. So far that hasn't happened on FLLB and I doubt it ever will.

7. The drive down to the beach is scenic and beautiful: Las Olas Boulevard is spectacular. Water front mini mansions with yatchs docked out back is a dream life and it's nice to be so close to prestige and affluence. You don't have to crane your neck to see Fischer/Star Island while speeding down the interstate or pay $40 to take a boat cruise past mansions. You can drive slowly by and imagine yourself living in the lap of luxury. Aside from the opulent homes there is beautiful blue water, interesting wildlife and swaying palm trees beckoning you to enter into paradise.

8. Like USA Channel, characters are welcome. Self explanatory.

9. Cheaper airfare, cheaper hotels, just cheaper everything.

10. The Hard Rock Casino area. Nuff said.

Consider taking a vacation to Fort Lauderdale and skip Miami. It's your chance to do something different. Everyone does SOBE. But few can say they did FLLB.

Miserable Miami Memorial Monday

Try saying that three times fast.

Miserable Miami Memorial Monday/Miserable Miami Memorial Monday/Miserable Miami Memorial Monday.

One of the things that I've pledged NOT to do is to continually bash Miami like it's the worst place on earth. No one wants to read a blog full of moaning and groaning about how much better XYZ city is than MIA. Yes, it's a culture shock. No, people aren't as friendly and welcoming as they are in other cities. Yes, the sense of style is non existent. But Miami has many great things to offer which is why I moved here in the first place. It's also why I stay when there are jobs a' plenty back home if I ever want to gracefully bow out. I'm staying. For now.

But I must say, this past weekend makes me grateful that I will not be here for the next summer holiday- July 4th. The sheer ghetto, ignorant, just out right ridiculous crowd that descended upon Miami this past weekend was embarrassing. Shootings, rapes, macings, fights- you name it. It's no wonder most South Beach businesses close up shop for Memorial weekend and don't even bother. They won't make any money any way. 99% of the tourists don't patronize any of the local shops, so no money cycles into the economy. Why bring money when you can stand in front of the business, blocking customers who would actually spend a few dollars? While stopping the flow of much needed revenue, make sure to sexually harass every scantily clad female that walks by. Now THAT'S a party.

I'll end this post right here. I don't want to exert any more energy into rehashing Memorial weekend. Hopefully July 4th will be better.

Great Escape #1: Whipping Post In Paradise

Welcome to your first Taste of a Great Escape! These quick blurbs will let my readers know something about my life experience that I hope will shed a little light on the enigma that is moi.

I don't I have a lot of readers yet (I hope to change that soon, so please pass the word along to your friends, enemies, friendemies, relatives, co-workers, loved ones, neighbors, hairdressers, nail techs, gardeners, dermatologists, personal trainers etc). But the few readers I do have so far (thank you!!!) have asked me about the red pole that is in my profile picture.


The "pole" is actually a whipping post. It is located at the Fort in Christiansted, which is in Saint Croix, which is in the United States Virgin Islands. One of my best friends in the whole wide world is from the beautiful island of Saint Croix. During one of my two trips to STX I was mesmerized by the beauty, lush vegetation, white sandy beaches and cornflower blue skies that are the islands main attractions. On the flip side I was horrified by the Fort. The evidence of the inhumane treatment of the slaves at the Fort was a stark contrast to the clear waters breaking against the perfect shore and the cotton candy clouds floating overhead on balmy tropical breezes. One thought kept pulsing through my mind- TERRIBLE BEAUTY.

Slavery wasn't just an American thing. Anywhere there were black and brown people in the "free world" there was also oppression and enslavement. I still feel claustrophobia when I think about the hot cinder box square that was used as a jail cell for hundreds of slaves. I am only 5 feet 5 inches tall and I had trouble standing up straight in the cell.

Even against a backdrop of an island dream horrific events can take place. That is why the whipping post is my profile picture. It is a reminder to me, and those who read my blog that all that glitters aint gold.