The Fleecing of America Part #1: High School Graduations

Some of you may know that my oldest "baby" graduated from High School this past year. Friday, June 11, 2010 to be exact. To make a very long story short, I calculate that I shelled out close to five thousand dollars on her during the course of her senior year.

I know. You're sitting there with your mouth agape. And though I can't remember ALL the fees, I do remember getting a "checklist" when she was a junior. Many of those activities, events and items cost well over $500. There were at least ten things on the list. Now, even though she didn't do all of them, she did enough. Coupled with her cotillion which took place that Sunday, June 13, 2010, I can safely say I spent well over $4,000 on baby girl.

Now, I'm not a penny pincher. Though I am not living as glamorously as I did when I was working in corporate America and getting bonus checks that were 5 digits, I still like to have nice things. I drive a late model car, that I purchased brand new. In fact, out of the five cars I've purchased in my life, three of them were brand new. Though I maintain my hair at home now- it's mostly because I'm trying keep it healthy and getting it fried, dyed and laid to the side every week at Maria's Dominicana Salon or Bonita's Bump N Curl kinda counteract that goal. However, I get my pink and white manicures, pedicures and eyebrows done on the reg. I still shop, eat out, purchase gadgets, do a bit of traveling, tithe (yes, 10%. Praise God from whom all blessings flow). But I'm sorry, thousands of bucks for a graduation, especially in this economy is some bull.

Keep in mind, I just got married last September. We're still paying for something things from that event. Though we paid for a lot of things cash and many other things were gifted to us from family and loved ones- we still paid a pretty penny for our wedding. We had about 100 guests, give or take 5 or 10. We had an open bar at a restaurant that overlooks the water and has an amazing view of the Miami night sky line. We had a lavish buffet, a stretch Hummer... yadda yadda yadda. So yeah. We already paid out the wazoo for our wedding. After all, me and the marriage thing is a ONE time event. So fairy tale it had to be. But over the top graduations... No.

I'm going to her THIRD graduation this year next Tuesday. She graduated from basic training back in September. She graduates from AIT next week. I'm sure the Army will have another 5 graduations before it's all said and done. And of course, she'll graduate from undergrad, grad and hopefully post grad schools. So...

I guess what I'm ranting about is the fact that these companies are pimping the hell out of these kids and their parents. We are not rich. When I had my big corporate America job I was upper middle classed at best. Now that I'm doing my own thing I'm scraping along the fringes of lower middle class, and POOR. So imagine my surprise when my 16 year old junior called me yesterday to tell me that HER ring is pricing out at a cool $700? Her sisters, just last year was $600. Are they mad?

And then if you try to get yours done with another vendor, they bar your child from participating in the ring ceremony which is supposed to be the "official moment when juniors become rising seniors". I saw the sadness in my 16 year olds eyes when I said "Hell to the no!" Well, actually I said "Absolutely not!", but I was thinking the former. Of course, after thinking about it, I can NOT deny her what her sister had just last year. Especially when she's doing so well in school, and balances all her activities and studies to perfection. In fact, because she's such a super girl, she's being honored at an event this Saturday. She won't even be around to accept the award (I'm accepting it on her behalf). She'll be out of town at a weekend conference for one of her organizations. Did I mention she's also been tapped to be on the Board of Directors at a non-profit that mentors inner city youth? So yeah, she deserves to get the ring she wants. But why does it have to be so damned expensive?!

Last point- after my oldest graduated last year there was this vendor outside selling replicas of their diplomas at $35 a pop. I know how much it costs to make those little plaque thingys. En masse- probably about $5 each. So do the math. 700 graduating seniors x $30 profits = $21,000 at ONE graduation. These companies are coming up on us and pimping us for every dollar in our pocket and we just smile and ask may we have another. I promise if we have more kids we won't even get sucked into this mess. And they won't know any better because we never exposed them to any of it to begin with.

#END RANT#

She's Apologized, Let's Move On.

You'd have to be living in a soundproof room in your mother's basement not to have seen or heard about the Seattle police officer caught on tape punching a teen who was resisting arrest in the face.

This blog will be brief. I agree that old girl was WRONG AND A HALF for resisting arrest. But the officer needs to be retrained. Punching a female in the face should never be an answer for any man unless his life is at risk. And don't get me started on the fact that this was a little girl and he's a grown MAN. I mean come on now.

I don't even want to spend too much time on the subject, because she's apologized and he's back on his beat. But word to the wise young world, when a police officer tells you to comply- just do it. You'll have your day in court later. And to officers who think that young black women are punching bags- find another profession. Next time you might not get to skate on the situation so easily.

Self Destruction 2010

The following note was taken from my surrogate brother's Facebook page after we witnessed a mob inciting a riot near JFK Middle School in North Miami Beach Florida. Parents, WHEN WILL WE STEP UP AND TAKE CHARGE OF OUR CHILDREN SO THAT THEY NO LONGER BEHAVE AS BLOOD THIRSTY ANIMALS INSTEAD OF YOUNG KINGS AND QUEENS WITH THE WORLD AT THEIR FEET? ENOUGH!

Destruction of Generation Me-Me-Me

Today at 6:04pm

With each passing day, I realize that today's teens are like black holes with nothingness there and quickly need to find Jesus. My sister and I were driving and happened to see a literal mob of about 100 additional teens following one frightened boy walking like he was about to sprint away from them at any minute. We asked if he was okay and he said no. We told him to jump in the car to make a speedy get away from the mob. Apparently, the frightened boy was using the phone of a girl that was deep inside that mob. Once he jumped into the car, the dizzy girl yelled, "give me back my phone." He did that but by doing that, it stopped us for a second and some idiot from the crowd of teens threw a rock at our car. I stopped the car because I was about to wreck shop (but then my sister screamed to zoom off). I thought about it as I was dialing 911 to get this kid some help: Yeah, they were much younger than me but who knows what weapons they may have had and a mob is still a mob. We ended up calling the police. There was a delay in them finding us because I told them an address but gave the wrong street number, which was one block over because that was the last street I saw before turning off. When the cops arrived, they'd told us they came from the original spot from where that fight had taken place. That boy had already been beaten because he had a bruise on his lip that the cops noticed before we did. The cops took it from there and said they would handle it. But the fact still remains that a group of 100 were going to jump, stomp and possibly murder some 8th grader over some simple, silly bull-ish. Had my sister and I not been at the right (or wrong depending how you see it) place at the right time, that 8th grade kid would've ended up like Chicago's Derrion Albert, who if you don't know, was attacked and murdered with a 2x4 as he was walking home from school. We have to wake these teens up and the generation after them to see there is a future out there for them if they just keep their eye on the prize and not try to be the biggest thug on the block or else the world will end like the movie Children of Men.

Can anything good come out of Liberty City?

Someone well versed in NYC real estate once told me that you could tell a neighborhood was gentrifying when the liquor stores and chicken shacks were replaced with fruit and vegetable stands and coffee shops. I didn't believe it until the local fried fish/seafood restaurant on Broadway near Kosciusko in Bed Sty was transformed into a fruit and veggie stand as more and more Caucasians stood shoulder to shoulder with me on the train to commute to work.

I was reminded of this today in a conversation about why District 5, which encompasses Liberty City, Little Haiti, Wynwood, and Overtown is so desolate. I don't live anywhere near that area. In fact, I live over 100 blocks away. I'm so far North in Miami I could walk across the county line into Broward within minutes. However, anywhere black and brown people reside sparks an interest in me.

We have to do more than offer lip service. It's high time someone gets up and makes the changes that are so desperately needed in District 5. In an area that's been littered with false promises, allegations of shady doings, court proceedings, arrests and the like, it's almost like a complacency has settled over District 5.

I am proof positive that out of heartbreak and pain can come positivity. Who would have thought that the little girl born to a teen mom in a lower middle class neighborhood in NYC would go on to do some of the things that I have done? Be the places that I have been? Work for the places I have worked? Have the dreams that I hope to realize? We need to foster that same hope in the generations behind us. It sounds so trite- but that No Child Left Behind slogan rings true- "We must lift as we climb to leave no child behind."

That also involves not becoming successful and running away from "the hood" into Broward County because we're so "above it all". Stay and help make some of those much needed changes. Convert the liquor and number running shack into that healthy fruit stand that sells snacks to the kids that will do the body good. Build a community garden in the vacant lot on the corner. Patronize black businesses- and if you ARE a black business offer something that seems to lack in our shops- GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE. No, that's not an exception. It's basically the rule. There also needs to be some real revitalization, which means job creation. It's great that Walgreens and Jackson Hewitt have a thriving business, but what about health clinics? Book stores? A Whole Foods? A movie theater? A bistro? What about a good old fashioned jazz cafe? I'm just throwing some things out there. Don't say it can't happen. I'll point you no further than downtown Brooklyn, New York for evidence that it most certainly CAN happen.

I could go on for hours, but I'll close this by saying change is coming to District 5. I plan to put all my support behind it because I for one want politicians to put up or shut up. LIVES depend on it.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

MEDIA CONTACT: Richard Clarke Tel. 305.594.7615 ext 274 rclarke@SouthFloridaWorkforce.com

South Florida Workforce Launches Youth Employment Program MIAMI-DADE

COUNTY, Fla.) – In an attempt to mitigate the impact of youth unemployment in South Florida, the South Florida Workforce Investment Board (SFWIB) recently launched its Summer Youth Employment Program to assist young people between the ages of 14-24 gain an understanding about careers, the workplace and appropriate employment skills by linking students to employers for work experience and career exploration.

The program is a public/private partnership between the South Florida Workforce Investment Board, the businesses community, and the public sector. The initiative is being supported pursuant to the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. The program’s concept is simple: local employers (both public and private) are being encouraged to provide career exploration opportunities to young people within their organizations during the summer months and the SFWIB will cover the youth participant’s wages for the hours worked.

According to Rick Beasley, Executive Director of South Florida Workforce, “the Summer Youth Employment Program is a great opportunity for local employers to make a contribution to their community and help create a simulative economic impact on the local economy; at the same time providing career exposure to our future workforce. I encourage anyone who is in a position to provide a placement opportunity to contact us for information about the program. It’s a great investment in our youth.”

For more information about the SFWIB’s Summer Employment Program, visit the agency’s website at: www.southfloridaworkforce.com.

# # #

Kick The Truth to the Young Black Youth: Black teen STD rate needs our attention

Black teen STD rate needs our attention

By Yolanda Young

Once again, a study has found a wide gap between blacks and whites, and yet again the news is not good for African-Americans.

The latest study, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, shows that an alarming 48% of African-American girls ages 14-19 have a sexually transmitted disease, compared with 20% of young white and Mexican-American females. The CDC analyzed data on 838 female adolescents who participated in the 2003-04 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. The researchers found that black teens had far greater rates of common STDs, including human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes simplex virus and trichomoniasis.

Sadly, this is not a new trend.

Though this study did not include syphilis, gonorrhea or HIV because of their low prevalence in this age group, these diseases strike black women in later years at strikingly high rates. In 2006, the rate of chlamydia cases among black women was more than seven times that of white women; the gonorrhea rate among African-American women was 18 times greater than for whites; and the rate of syphilis cases in black women was 16 times higher than in white women.

Why the disparity?

* STDs are concentrated in poor, segregated neighborhoods.

* Sexuality of teens starts earlier and earlier, heightened by music lyrics and images on television.

* More than 20% of blacks are uninsured. So without access to health care, more blacks with STDs go untreated while the diseases are often undetected.

The significance of this problem can't be overstated, as STDs also can cause infertility and cervical cancer.

What can be done? The CDC suggests sex with an uninfected monogamous partner and habitual condom use. Abstinence, of course, is the surest way to avoid STDs.

But advice isn't enough. With incidence levels already high among young black women, more emphasis should be placed on STD screening, treatment, and vaccinations at health clinics where contraceptive services are also offered. Ultimately, we must reverse this trend of early sexual activity. The CDC suggests that sex education delays sexual activity among teens.

What else might influence girls? Father figures who affirm them and women who demonstrate responsible sexual behavior that girls could emulate. This is not science, just my opinion based on what I've seen.

But one thing we should all agree on is that this is an issue that blacks can't afford to ignore. We need more talking and less doing.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2008/04/black-teen-std.html

Family Ties

The older I get, the more I value my "blood ties".

Much as I am ashamed to admit it, as a teenager I shunned my family. I felt disconnected and wanted nothing more than to escape. My mother gave birth to me at a very young age and it shaped my views on the world around me- and not always in a positive way. I wasn't starving in the streets or anything like that. But I didn't have a Cosby type of childhood and I can't help but feel that if it wasn't for my grandparents my life would be the polar opposite of what it is now. I don't want to delve into details- but let's just say that teen parenthood, drugs and a short lifespan are just a few things that were at the end of the path that I would have been on had it not been for Miss Estelle and Mr. Cliff.

Fastforward to 2008. My grandfather is laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. I am struggling to keep my sanity as the only real father figure I ever had withers away in front of my eyes. My kid sister who I vowed never to speak to again exactly two years ago has popped back up in our lives and the jury is still out on whether or not she can be trusted. My first cousin who has always been the shining white knight of the family has major chinks in his armor that is showing signs of rust. My fiancee doesn't have the luxury of a smooth, gradual transition into meeting my maternal family. He is thrust into face first- with all the drama, all the jockeying for power, all the animosity, the grudges- the EVERYTHING. The fact that he still wants my hand in marriage after that introduction into my family is... a miracle.

Yet through it all, I realize that family is the most important thing in the world to any of us. Instead of envying others it's dawning on me that it could be a lot worse. Though my mother would have never won any Mom of the Year awards- she didn't Caylee me and cut my life short before it even started. She did her best and I'm here. I am a good mother, a good fiancee and future wife. A fair and competent boss. A PHENOMENAL friend- even to those who don't deserve it. A spiritual woman who loves The Lord and doesn't let a day go by without connecting with Him in my own way. A wonderful though controlling family member to my relatives (I'm working on it). A solid, law abiding citizen when so many are out here getting theirs by any means necessary. Ok, I speed and break traffic laws but I don't litter, do drugs or steal. I volunteer on a regular basis, give to charity, vote, serve my jury duty, pay my taxes and haven't killed anyone. Yet.

So as 2008 comes to a close I want to thank my mother and father for making me. I want to thank my grandparents for raising me into a strong woman of color. I want to thank my neighbors and family for molding me and giving me character. Thanks to all my friends who offered a shoulder when I cried and a gave wake up calls when I wallowed in self pity. I hope 2009 finds my grandfather in much better health if it's in God's good graces and I vow to continue to work on self so that I become a better person not only for myself but for those around me- especially to the man that I will marry in less than 9 months.

My Day At The Historic Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach (Part 3)

Without further adieu here is the third and final part to my story about the day I volunteered at the re-opening of VKBP. You can read parts 1 and 2 in the archives.

My girls and I walked across the park. I was amazed at how big the park really is. It's huge and in my humble opinion it is going to take a lot of man hours on upkeep. That is probably why the VKBP Trust is asking for volunteers to make a commitment to help out for at least five hours on a monthly basis. If you live in the South Florida area and would like to be a part of something historic and truly rewarding please click the link that will follow this post in order to be taken to the VKBP website. You may sign up or request more information there.

Where was I? Oh yes. We walked across the huge park, being stopped every few minutes by park patrons who thought volunteer meant hauling trash cans over to their picnic area. We kindly told them that we were actually headed for an assignment but that they could head back over to the Trust building and make a request. We finally made it over to the V.I.P. tent. It was decked out beautifully and looked very chic. My two girls were quickly brisked away to the back of the tent to help out with the food. I, along with a young man whose name escapes me were stationed at the front of the tent to make sure that anyone trying to gain access to the V.I.P. area had a yellow wristband. And here is where the story goes south.

I come from N.Y., as you all should know by now. Maybe the meaning of V.I.P. is lost on some South Floridians. But in every state in the union V.I.P. stands for Very Important Person. Which means that you have done something, or paid some sum of money, or know someone and because of that you are in an area that is designated as nicer with more perks. It does not mean that you can stroll by, peek in and see wine and delicacy consumption, couches, lighting, etc and think, you can just mosey right on in.

To make a very long story short there was a serious misunderstanding between performers and those running the V.I.P tent. Every performer and member of the performers entourage were told they could come over to the tent after getting off the stage to eat, drink and mingle. That was not communicated to the people in charge of the tent. So when performers including singers, rappers, local djs etc would come to the tent and try to gain access we would tell them they couldn't come in because they didn't have the yellow wristband that must adorn the wrist of every V.I.P member. The people of course threw fits with the expected "Do you know who I am?" spiel. To which we had to call for two of the women who were vouching for people who could bypass us "bouncers" without the wristband.

I try to always exude class and behave like a lady in social settings. But once in a while people can push you to the limit. For the most part everyone was cool, respectful and friendly. But of course you always have the one or two who get what I like to call "extra". It's at those moments where you have to check a man/woman who thinks that a uniform, or in this case a yellow t-shirt means you are there to be talked down to, walked on and/or humiliated.

A few people found themselves on the receiving end of a breakdown. One of which was a member of a performer's entourage who will remain nameless. He was told by organizers that after the performer he was with exited the stage they could all come and eat. They had an entire clique with them including family. Said entourage member came directly up to me though there were two volunteers working the front of the tent at this point. He was full of bravado and bluster, but basically attempted to flip on me because one of his relatives was turned away at the door. I guess he is used to speaking to women in that manner in his usual interactions with them. Unfortunately for him I am not one of those women. I quickly nipped the situation in the bud and let him know a few things. One, that I wasn't the one who turned his relative away. He replied that he wasn't coming off on me, but he was frustrated. I told him to direct his frustrations elsewhere, and to take it down a volume. He rolled his eyes and asked me if I knew who he was. He stated he was in the entourage of a local rapper who again, will remain nameless.

South Floridians reading this blog will think I'm elitist and arrogant. They will take this as validation that all New Yorkers are this way. And maybe we are. But you all must understand. We are just used to moving through life faster and we have little time for b.s. After I told old boy that I was from New York where the real rappers are from and that unless he was exiting the stage with Biggie, Jay Z or Nas he really should come back to the world, he humbled out. He apologized for the disrespect. I guess he realized that wilin' out over a misunderstanding when you are a nobody in the clique of a still a nobody was very uncalled for. I saw him chilling in the tent throughout the night and he was very cool and down to earth after our disagreement. Sometimes it just takes a reality check for people to get their wits about them.

Needless to say this whole wristband thing caused a lot of unnecessary confusion. I think that performers at these types of events need to state how many people they are bringing so that organizers know in advance. Or they need their very own tent. It's that simple. I hate disorganization and the whole V.I.P. situation was all over the place. They definitely need to clean that up before the next big event.

The great thing that came out of working the tent that night was that I met one of the coolest sistas in Miami. She actually works in the same industry as I do and she's very well known in South Florida. We've been e-mailing each other back and forth since the event and have planned to hang out in the future. In fact we're meeting up tomorrow at a function in Coral Gables. I hope that as I come out of my shell I link up with many more accomplished women here. I really want to start building a network here that rivals the one I had back home.

One last tidbit- Jeffrey Osborne was the headlining performer and I didn't get to see one second of his performance because I was working. But I heard the performance and that man still has a set of pipes on him! I'm going to pick up one of his compilation cd's after hearing the great show that he put on.

Well that about sums up how my day went at VKBP. I'll be volunteering there again soon for beach clean up. I'll put up some pictures in my photobucket account for you guys to check out. Here is the VKBP link for the website if you guys want to sign up. Maybe I'll see you at the next event...

http://www.virginiakeybeachpark.net/volunteers.asp

My Day At The Historic Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach (Part 2)

Part 1 to this story is here: http://escapeconcretejungles.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-day-at-historic-re-opening-of.html

I'm not a morning person. I will never be "chipper" with or without coffee. Monday-Friday I have to be at the office by 8 a.m. sharp. So it goes without saying that on Saturday's I like to sleep in- the later the better.

So when I signed up my two girls and I to volunteer at the re-opening of VKBP I took solace in the fact that I wouldn't have to get there until 11:30 a.m. That would mean at least three extra hours of sleep for me. Unfortunately I stayed up until 4 or 5 a.m. that morning so when my alarm rang out I kept hitting the snooze. Somewhere deep down in dreamland I knew I had to get up- I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. After one of the kids dragged me kicking and screaming into the bathroom to get ready I finally became coherent enough to pull myself together and get on the road.

The directions provided to us by Quentin, the volunteer coordinator were great. One of the things that annoys me to no end are people who give bad directions and get you lost in the source, burning gas and precious minutes/hours that you can never get back. But I digress. After a long journey down to the end of I-95 and across a long bridge we arrived to our destination unscathed at 11:40 a.m. Parking was a breeze at this point because the "official" kick-off wasn't until around 1 p.m.

The one thing that kind of rattled me at first was how hot it was that Saturday. It had been cold all throughout the week so I didn't expect the heat to come back full throttle so soon. Worse, the t-shirts they gave us to wear were bright yellow. I could see huge bumble bees and wasps buzzing around the park and I was concerned one of us would get stung at some point during the day. I'm allergic to stings, but decided to play it by ear and hope for the best.


After a somewhat disorganized sign-in process (they should really print out a roster beforehand to avoid confusion on the day of events) the girls and I went inside the VKBP Trust building and changed into our t-shirts. Quentin asked for five volunteers to run a table for the kids. My girls and I, along with two other volunteers named Luz and Victoria were put in charge of "promotions" for the historical exhibits displayed around the park. We strategically placed the table off to the side of the children's playground, stocked up with coloring books, crayons, and paper to make oragami creations and got to work. We quickly designed some oragami boats, paper fortune tellers and drawings of our own and decorated our table with them to spark the children's interest.

We used a hook, line and sinker approach. The decorations were the hook. The line was the opportunity for them to draw and design things of their own. The sinker was that we had a paper called a passport to give to them that listed all the historical exhibits. If the kid's visited each exhibit and got the passport stamped as proof of their visit they could return the passport to us and win a prize. It was a good way to get the children to learn while having fun and enjoying the beautifully renovated park.

The experience was so incredible. My girls, especially my 14 year old loves small children so she was thrilled to help them draw and color all day. When things got slow around our area she would go into the playground and talk to parents to coax them into bringing their children over to our table to draw for us. The parent's and kid's were great for the most part. Of course there was an occasional parent who would make comments like "Saturday is for fun, not for learnin. They learnt all week. No learnin today." But hey. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.


At about 3:30 Quentin came over and scooped up Luz and Victoria because he needed help out in the parking lot directing cars. The kids and I held down the fort until our first shift ended at 4:30. Of course when a day is so blazing hot like that Saturday was the atmosphere must cool itself off. Right before we were scheduled to turn the table over to the next shift the skies opened and started pouring rain. We scrambled to pack everything up in the boxes and ran for shelter in the VKBP Trust building. Once inside we freshened up, cooled down, had a few drinks and just took a breather. I loved working with the kids but I could see the day out in the sun had drained them. I was nursing a major migraine headache myself and considered just going home. But the girls insisted they wanted to stick around for the second shift so I conceded.

Our next assignment would be to work the V.I.P. tent way across the park, over by the soundstage. All throughout the day we had been oblivious to the adult population. We heard the performances and local djs broadcasting from the soundstage but didn't focus on what was being said or what was going down. Anyone who works with children knows they command your full attention. So when we were directed to the V.I.P. section I had no idea what to expect. Let's just say I should have expected the unexpected...