Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed

I'm a Prince fan, but moreso his old music. He does have some newer joints that are solid though- like Incense & Candles, Cinnamon Girl, and Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed. 

Anyway, I wanted to let each and every one of you know that you are those things. You are BEAUTIFUL, LOVED, AND BLESSED. No matter what anyone else says, or doesn't say. I'm not one of those people who spend time dwelling on my "haters", because I'm far more concerned with my "lovers". Don't get me wrong- it's better to let your haters be your motivators than to sit around concerned about what negative energy your detractors are spouting out. However, accentuate the positive. Surround yourself with positive people and things. Put people in your life who are constantly motivating you to do better and to be better. No one who claims to love you should be hurting you, putting you down, or making you feel plain lousy. Also, beware of "frenemies". You know- the people who claim to be your friends but you find yourself in constant competition with them? Your friend should be the main one cheering you on when you achieve your goals- they should not be pointing out how things could have been so much better if you did XYZ. 

Be comfortable in your own skin. I'm the first to admit this wasn't always easy for me. Back in the day I constantly had to have someone around me. I couldn't stand to be alone even for an afternoon. I partied 6 nights a week just to be in the crowd. As I matured and began truly loving myself I quickly realized that with me is where I want to be. I now enjoy those brief moments of solitude where I can work out solutions in my head, or curl up with a good book. Or even veg out on the couch and clean out my dvr which is always at 90 something % full. Me time is critical! 

You may not be on the cover of Vogue, but you're beautiful. You may not have found "the one" yet, but you're loved by someone. And you may not be a millionaire- but you're blessed. You're beautiful because God molded you. You're loved because you love yourself. And you're blessed because you're alive reading this. 

-E.B.

Leadership Series Part 1

If you can't follow, you're probably not a good leader.

That concept may be a hard pill to swallow, but it's true.

Before I go off on my spiel, let me tell you what entitles me to consider myself a great leader. First, I am an ENTJ on the Myers-Briggs personality scale. In other words, I am a natural born leader. We used to be known as the Field Marshal. Now we are known as the Executive. 

Click here to learn about us.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ENTJ

Basically, even when I don't want the position of a leader, I am always selected for the role because people see these qualities in me. It has been my downfall more often than not, but it is what it is. I should also mention it is extremely rare for a female to be an ENTJ. 

I have been in the workforce for 11 years. For only the first 3 of those years was I not in a leadership role. In fact, my promotion to supervisor at one of jobs was one of the fastest ascensions of that time. Now, they give out that position like candy. But when I got the position, there were many angry, bitter people who had been sitting around upwards of 7 years as a coordinator while I breezed in the door, and 2 years later, I was a boss.

It happens in every organization I'm in. I sat quietly at an election late last year. I was new to the org, and was eager to see who our newly elected officers would be. I had no desire to have a seat- after all, I was still trying to learn. Imagine my surprise when I was elected to a position that is 2 steps away from president...

And in my church group. Less than six months after joining the church I was elected vice president of a group. They rewrote the by-laws to state that vice president would automatically become president. I declined the position after a two year term as vice president, and asked not to be nominated for any more executive committee positions. Why? Because at the same time I held exec committee positions in no less than 3 other organizations- one of which had me in the role of president. Even natural born leaders have a breaking point. Plus it would be a great disservice to all the organizations to have my attentions divided so much. Jack of all trades, master of none.

Other people would accept all these positions like accolades, and even beg for more. The problem with today's society is that they are too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

Everyone wants to be the boss. Everyone wants that promotion. But most people suck at leadership.

The reason why I was such a good boss was because I first was a great employee. I was rarely late. I never complained about working long hours. I understood the big picture. Though I hate politics, as I matured I learned how to play the game. 

As a boss, I was firm, but fair. I never held my employees to standards that I didn't hold myself to. I believed in employee development, and it was my sincere goal to mold my employees into leaders as well. Unlike insecure leaders who put as many positions as possible between themselves and their subordinates for job security, I actually wanted to create supervisor and team leader positions to give my crew something to work towards. When people feel like they are blocked with no where to go their performance suffers. And I have super high standards for my squad.

Want to be a good leader? First learn how to follow. 

Want to be a good leader? Second build a strong team. 

Want to be a good leader? Third learn that respect is earned, not given. Just because you're the boss does not mean that they owe you a shred of respect. Give them something to respect.

Want to be a good leader? Stay in your lane. Don't be so busy worrying about everyone else's role and what they are doing wrong and what they could be doing better that you forget your own responsibilities. This happened to me recently. Someone was so concerned with telling me how to do each and every facet of my position (as president by the way, you'd think the person you elected to lead has a little common sense, right?) that they forgot each and every facet of what THEY were supposed to do that day. Keep your own house in order.

Want to be a good leader? Delegate. When you allow people to take on more you allow everyone to develop a skill, and you don't tire yourself out trying to be a superhero. That cape is hot in the summertime.

I'll be writing much, much more on leadership. Not only do I have nearly a decade of various leadership positions under my belt, and not only am I a born leader, BUT I have also taken many professional trainings and development courses on the subject. I'm not saying I'm the expert- but you'll definitely pick up a gem or two. Stay tuned...