Happy Anniversary! 1+ Year Post Relaxer

As I stated in my earlier blog about Brazillian Keratin Treatments I am transitioning my hair from relaxed to natural, which for me will mean relaxer free. It has been a long journey full of self discovery and enlightnment, but it has also had some low points like close mindedness from others, setbacks (I lost about a sixth of my hair on one side due to someone who was doing my hair not taking the time to detangle properly) and just downright fatigue.

As I stated in another post It's Just Hair! Don't make it more than it is. Do what you want to do with your hair because at the end of the day what you put in yours doesn't hinder or benefit mine and vice versa. I am a very strong minded person and don't mind having a discussion about an issue, but make no mistake about it- once my mind is made up it's made up and nothing you say or do will change my opinion. 

Unlike some women who have chosen this journey, I don't look down on women who continue to relax their hair. Shoot, everyone who knows me KNOWS I love a freshly done Dominican blow out. I loved the way my hair looked relaxed. The thing was, it was TOO relaxing. It gets boring after a while. There is but so much you can do with bone straight hair. Going natural means I can be bone straight on Friday and curly wild child tresses on Sunday. That's the versatiliy of it all. Also, I think we all know that any type of chemcial altering to your hair damages it by design. The actual process of chemically treating your hair means you are breaking down the hair strand to rebuild it into something else. Whether that rebuilding means straight to curly, curly to straight, keratin in gaps, dark hair stripped to apply a lighter color etc, your hair is forever changed. Eventually thinning will occur because hair can't withstand all that forever. And don't come telling me about your relaxed hair grandnana who still has hair to her butt. It may be to her butt- but is it full and healthy? I would never trade long hair for healthy hair. If my hair was a finger snap long but full, healthy and shiny as opposed to waist length and ratty with see-through ends I'll stick with finger snap all day long.

But yeah, happy anniversary to me! I had planned on blowing out my hair this week to see how much it has grown but I'm good. I really don't care. I wear it twisted most of the time anyway so it doesn't matter at this juncture how long it is. I just can't wait to trim off the last of these straight ends! 

Here are some pictures I took the other night with my phone. Not the best resolution but you get the point.

Lata!

HAIR IN 4 SECTIONS. MAKES FOR EASY WASHING AND DETANGLING. I'LL EXPLAIN IN A LATER BLOG.

HAIR IS PAST SHOULDERS

NEED TO CLIP THESE SCRAGGLY ENDS! BUT STILL WANNA ROCK A PONYTAIL EVERY NOW AND THEN SO FOR NOW I WAIT!

 

CURLY ROOTS, RELAXED ENDS. CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE JUST ONE TEXTURE!!!

Church of the Open Door Women's Weekend 2010

 

Living and Working to promote God's Will is the theme of this years Women's Weekend! Our featured guest speaker is the amazing Bernadette A. Morris, CEO of Sonshine Communications, Black PR Wire and Women Grow Strong. These workshops are FREE to the public and include continental breakfast and lunch. You may register on our website, http://churchoftheopendoormiami.org/ or by e-mailing secretary@churchoftheopendoormiami.org. See you there!

Nearly 1 Year Post Relaxer...

I know, I don't update. But reading an article a friend sent me about the dangers of Brazillian Keratin Treatments, or BKT as some ladies call it, I felt compelled to say something.

First, I got a Brazillian Keratin treament earlier this year. I was convinced by my stylist and a good friend of mine that it would help me in my journey away from chemicals and into my natural haired state. The reasons why I took the plunge were:

1. I was having a lot of issues with my hair. To this day I think I had the urban myth of scab hair on my head. After I stopped using relaxers I thought that the full, thick, kinky curly tresses of my childhood that I would see in my new growth would quickly reappear. They didn't, and instead an ugly, dry tangled mat of unruliness adorned the top of my head to the point where I wanted to slap a perm in it and keep it moving. BKT seemed like a less caustic alternative.

2. I was told that BKT was made up mostly of keratin, which is supposedly healthy for your hair.

3. BKT was supposed to "fill the gaps in my hair cuticles" that had been damaged by relaxers, styling and heat.

4. Though my hair would still look beautiful when blown straight, it lacked shine. I was told that BKT would give me that glossy look that I had been so used to my whole relaxed life.

5. I like being the first among my friends to do stuff. I like to be the trendsetter, not the follower. ;)

Here are the reasons I STOPPED BKT'ing after that one time. No, I do NOT use BKT on my hair any longer and heres why:

1. It's too expensive! Who has $200+ to spend in one sitting? In addition to the regular visits to the stylist?

2. It's too caustic. I shouldn't be about to faint from the smell of my stylist applying it. Similarly, she should not be donning a gas mask and butchers apron with gloves up to her arpits either. If the stylist needs THAT much protection from the chemical during the application process why the heck should I put that mess on my HEAD?

3. It's still a chemical. Stopping relaxers and opting for BKT instead is doing nothing but going from one chemical dependency to another.

4. After you first get it done you can't get your hair wet for like 3 days. I live in South Florida. Sometimes I get caught in the rain. I also can't take a shower without the nape of my hair getting wet. $250 down the drain is not a good look.

5. Though my hair was fly afterwards, it wasn't fly enough to justify aallllll that stuff I just listed. I'll put up some pictures of my hair relaxer straight and BKT straight and you be the judge.

So there you have it. Ladies you make the decision for what is right for YOUR head. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life or to argue about what's healthy, cost effecient or whatever. But for Ms. Escape Brooklyn, I'll stick to the basics in hair care from now on.

She's Apologized, Let's Move On.

You'd have to be living in a soundproof room in your mother's basement not to have seen or heard about the Seattle police officer caught on tape punching a teen who was resisting arrest in the face.

This blog will be brief. I agree that old girl was WRONG AND A HALF for resisting arrest. But the officer needs to be retrained. Punching a female in the face should never be an answer for any man unless his life is at risk. And don't get me started on the fact that this was a little girl and he's a grown MAN. I mean come on now.

I don't even want to spend too much time on the subject, because she's apologized and he's back on his beat. But word to the wise young world, when a police officer tells you to comply- just do it. You'll have your day in court later. And to officers who think that young black women are punching bags- find another profession. Next time you might not get to skate on the situation so easily.

It's Just Hair!

Why are black people so caught up on hair?

It's a question I keep asking myself as I deal with the barrage of confusion that people feel towards me for deciding to go natural.

My entire adult life, and most of my childhood I have had relaxed hair. Last year, after my wedding I decided I had enough of caustic, toxic, dangerous chemicals. I stopped relaxing or "perming" my hair and went natural.

I am transitioning my hair as opposed to doing a "big chop", which means that I am simply allowing the relaxer to grow out instead of cutting all the relaxed hair off.

Transitioning your hair is not easy. Your hair is very fragile along the line of demarcation which is the point where your natural new growth ends and the chemically treated relaxed hair begins. If you aren't careful your hair could completely snap off along that line of demarcation. However, if you do the chop, you will lose inches and inches of hair, depending on how long your hair is.

So you have to baby your hair. That includes minimizing heat and manipulation. I have been wearing twist outs to protect my hair. That means that I wash and condition my hair, add some curl defining products and then twist my hair in straw sized twists. Once they are dry I untwist them leaving my hair wavy and curly. I, emphasis on I, think my hair looks BEAUTIFUL.

However, there are many people who don't like natural black hair. Anything but bone straight hair is considered ugly. You expect people who are not of African descent to think that our hair in it's natural state is unpretty. But unfortunately it's been my fellow black and brown people who have been the most discouraging about my transition. I have heard everything from:

"What did you do to your hair?"
"I like your hair better straight!"
"You had such pretty hair. What happened?"
"Are you trying to get dredlocks?"
"Why would someone with good hair try to get bad hair?"

And on, and on and on.

We are so brainwashed. We need to be educated on how to care for and love our hair, but never losing sight of the fact that...

IT'S

JUST

HAIR

!

In this instance, it's MY hair. I have made the decision to go natural. I remember a few weeks ago I brushed out my hair to put it in a curlytail aka a curly ponytail. It was the first time that I had felt that texture in my own head in years. I said "Hello hair! Long time no see!" And it felt good.

I for one refuse to put any more caustic, abrasive chemicals in my hair. I am accepting the tresses that The Lord has blessed me with. Yeah, my hair doesn't look it's sexiest during this awkward transition, but when all the relaxed hair is gone and my natural kinky curly qs are making up 100% of my hair I will be super happy!

This is probably my longest blog ever, full of digressions and ramblings, but here are three reasons why natural hair is better for me:

1) I can go curly OR straight! Relaxed hair can only be straight.
2) My natural hair has twice the volume than my relaxed hair.
3) My relaxed hair seems to have a terminal length. Yes, I keep it clipped and cut just under my shoulders, but I'm not sure it would grow much longer than that if I kept it going. Yet I am 8+ months post relaxer and my hair is growing faster than ever.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for more on my hair journey.

Doing Me

It's a truly rewarding experience to work for self.

I punch no time clocks.

I answer to no one.

If I don't work, I don't eat. It's incentive stay busy and stay on my grind.

To that end, it feels so good to go that extra mile to the benefit of myself and my own family. When you work for others all your hard work is strictly for them. Yes, you may get a pat on the back. Maybe even a little bonus or a promotion. But nothing beats doing it for dolo.

I realize that I didn't mention that I am no longer with that large South Florida non-profit. Yes, I'm on my own now. My client roster is growing by the day. I realized something was wrong when I started turning down clients to keep my day job. It quickly dawned on me I could make more money on my own than working for someone else.

It's not just about the money though. Money isn't everything. As the greatest book in the world states "The love of money is the root of all evil." So I try not to base my happiness or lack thereof on whether I do or don't have money. As long as my family is "comfortable" and not wanting for anything I am good!

It's about being able to take vacations when I want.

It's about being able to work on my schedule.

It's about staying home to raise my children. I was never in daycare a day in my life. I have vowed that I would never put my children there either.

It's about being in traffic on the way to fun. Not because I'm in some cranky commute.

So stay with me as I take a leap out on faith. I can always go back to work for someone else if this doesn't pan out. But so far everything is looking beautiful!

Self Destruction 2010

The following note was taken from my surrogate brother's Facebook page after we witnessed a mob inciting a riot near JFK Middle School in North Miami Beach Florida. Parents, WHEN WILL WE STEP UP AND TAKE CHARGE OF OUR CHILDREN SO THAT THEY NO LONGER BEHAVE AS BLOOD THIRSTY ANIMALS INSTEAD OF YOUNG KINGS AND QUEENS WITH THE WORLD AT THEIR FEET? ENOUGH!

Destruction of Generation Me-Me-Me

Today at 6:04pm

With each passing day, I realize that today's teens are like black holes with nothingness there and quickly need to find Jesus. My sister and I were driving and happened to see a literal mob of about 100 additional teens following one frightened boy walking like he was about to sprint away from them at any minute. We asked if he was okay and he said no. We told him to jump in the car to make a speedy get away from the mob. Apparently, the frightened boy was using the phone of a girl that was deep inside that mob. Once he jumped into the car, the dizzy girl yelled, "give me back my phone." He did that but by doing that, it stopped us for a second and some idiot from the crowd of teens threw a rock at our car. I stopped the car because I was about to wreck shop (but then my sister screamed to zoom off). I thought about it as I was dialing 911 to get this kid some help: Yeah, they were much younger than me but who knows what weapons they may have had and a mob is still a mob. We ended up calling the police. There was a delay in them finding us because I told them an address but gave the wrong street number, which was one block over because that was the last street I saw before turning off. When the cops arrived, they'd told us they came from the original spot from where that fight had taken place. That boy had already been beaten because he had a bruise on his lip that the cops noticed before we did. The cops took it from there and said they would handle it. But the fact still remains that a group of 100 were going to jump, stomp and possibly murder some 8th grader over some simple, silly bull-ish. Had my sister and I not been at the right (or wrong depending how you see it) place at the right time, that 8th grade kid would've ended up like Chicago's Derrion Albert, who if you don't know, was attacked and murdered with a 2x4 as he was walking home from school. We have to wake these teens up and the generation after them to see there is a future out there for them if they just keep their eye on the prize and not try to be the biggest thug on the block or else the world will end like the movie Children of Men.