She's Apologized, Let's Move On.

You'd have to be living in a soundproof room in your mother's basement not to have seen or heard about the Seattle police officer caught on tape punching a teen who was resisting arrest in the face.

This blog will be brief. I agree that old girl was WRONG AND A HALF for resisting arrest. But the officer needs to be retrained. Punching a female in the face should never be an answer for any man unless his life is at risk. And don't get me started on the fact that this was a little girl and he's a grown MAN. I mean come on now.

I don't even want to spend too much time on the subject, because she's apologized and he's back on his beat. But word to the wise young world, when a police officer tells you to comply- just do it. You'll have your day in court later. And to officers who think that young black women are punching bags- find another profession. Next time you might not get to skate on the situation so easily.

It's Just Hair!

Why are black people so caught up on hair?

It's a question I keep asking myself as I deal with the barrage of confusion that people feel towards me for deciding to go natural.

My entire adult life, and most of my childhood I have had relaxed hair. Last year, after my wedding I decided I had enough of caustic, toxic, dangerous chemicals. I stopped relaxing or "perming" my hair and went natural.

I am transitioning my hair as opposed to doing a "big chop", which means that I am simply allowing the relaxer to grow out instead of cutting all the relaxed hair off.

Transitioning your hair is not easy. Your hair is very fragile along the line of demarcation which is the point where your natural new growth ends and the chemically treated relaxed hair begins. If you aren't careful your hair could completely snap off along that line of demarcation. However, if you do the chop, you will lose inches and inches of hair, depending on how long your hair is.

So you have to baby your hair. That includes minimizing heat and manipulation. I have been wearing twist outs to protect my hair. That means that I wash and condition my hair, add some curl defining products and then twist my hair in straw sized twists. Once they are dry I untwist them leaving my hair wavy and curly. I, emphasis on I, think my hair looks BEAUTIFUL.

However, there are many people who don't like natural black hair. Anything but bone straight hair is considered ugly. You expect people who are not of African descent to think that our hair in it's natural state is unpretty. But unfortunately it's been my fellow black and brown people who have been the most discouraging about my transition. I have heard everything from:

"What did you do to your hair?"
"I like your hair better straight!"
"You had such pretty hair. What happened?"
"Are you trying to get dredlocks?"
"Why would someone with good hair try to get bad hair?"

And on, and on and on.

We are so brainwashed. We need to be educated on how to care for and love our hair, but never losing sight of the fact that...

IT'S

JUST

HAIR

!

In this instance, it's MY hair. I have made the decision to go natural. I remember a few weeks ago I brushed out my hair to put it in a curlytail aka a curly ponytail. It was the first time that I had felt that texture in my own head in years. I said "Hello hair! Long time no see!" And it felt good.

I for one refuse to put any more caustic, abrasive chemicals in my hair. I am accepting the tresses that The Lord has blessed me with. Yeah, my hair doesn't look it's sexiest during this awkward transition, but when all the relaxed hair is gone and my natural kinky curly qs are making up 100% of my hair I will be super happy!

This is probably my longest blog ever, full of digressions and ramblings, but here are three reasons why natural hair is better for me:

1) I can go curly OR straight! Relaxed hair can only be straight.
2) My natural hair has twice the volume than my relaxed hair.
3) My relaxed hair seems to have a terminal length. Yes, I keep it clipped and cut just under my shoulders, but I'm not sure it would grow much longer than that if I kept it going. Yet I am 8+ months post relaxer and my hair is growing faster than ever.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for more on my hair journey.

Doing Me

It's a truly rewarding experience to work for self.

I punch no time clocks.

I answer to no one.

If I don't work, I don't eat. It's incentive stay busy and stay on my grind.

To that end, it feels so good to go that extra mile to the benefit of myself and my own family. When you work for others all your hard work is strictly for them. Yes, you may get a pat on the back. Maybe even a little bonus or a promotion. But nothing beats doing it for dolo.

I realize that I didn't mention that I am no longer with that large South Florida non-profit. Yes, I'm on my own now. My client roster is growing by the day. I realized something was wrong when I started turning down clients to keep my day job. It quickly dawned on me I could make more money on my own than working for someone else.

It's not just about the money though. Money isn't everything. As the greatest book in the world states "The love of money is the root of all evil." So I try not to base my happiness or lack thereof on whether I do or don't have money. As long as my family is "comfortable" and not wanting for anything I am good!

It's about being able to take vacations when I want.

It's about being able to work on my schedule.

It's about staying home to raise my children. I was never in daycare a day in my life. I have vowed that I would never put my children there either.

It's about being in traffic on the way to fun. Not because I'm in some cranky commute.

So stay with me as I take a leap out on faith. I can always go back to work for someone else if this doesn't pan out. But so far everything is looking beautiful!

Self Destruction 2010

The following note was taken from my surrogate brother's Facebook page after we witnessed a mob inciting a riot near JFK Middle School in North Miami Beach Florida. Parents, WHEN WILL WE STEP UP AND TAKE CHARGE OF OUR CHILDREN SO THAT THEY NO LONGER BEHAVE AS BLOOD THIRSTY ANIMALS INSTEAD OF YOUNG KINGS AND QUEENS WITH THE WORLD AT THEIR FEET? ENOUGH!

Destruction of Generation Me-Me-Me

Today at 6:04pm

With each passing day, I realize that today's teens are like black holes with nothingness there and quickly need to find Jesus. My sister and I were driving and happened to see a literal mob of about 100 additional teens following one frightened boy walking like he was about to sprint away from them at any minute. We asked if he was okay and he said no. We told him to jump in the car to make a speedy get away from the mob. Apparently, the frightened boy was using the phone of a girl that was deep inside that mob. Once he jumped into the car, the dizzy girl yelled, "give me back my phone." He did that but by doing that, it stopped us for a second and some idiot from the crowd of teens threw a rock at our car. I stopped the car because I was about to wreck shop (but then my sister screamed to zoom off). I thought about it as I was dialing 911 to get this kid some help: Yeah, they were much younger than me but who knows what weapons they may have had and a mob is still a mob. We ended up calling the police. There was a delay in them finding us because I told them an address but gave the wrong street number, which was one block over because that was the last street I saw before turning off. When the cops arrived, they'd told us they came from the original spot from where that fight had taken place. That boy had already been beaten because he had a bruise on his lip that the cops noticed before we did. The cops took it from there and said they would handle it. But the fact still remains that a group of 100 were going to jump, stomp and possibly murder some 8th grader over some simple, silly bull-ish. Had my sister and I not been at the right (or wrong depending how you see it) place at the right time, that 8th grade kid would've ended up like Chicago's Derrion Albert, who if you don't know, was attacked and murdered with a 2x4 as he was walking home from school. We have to wake these teens up and the generation after them to see there is a future out there for them if they just keep their eye on the prize and not try to be the biggest thug on the block or else the world will end like the movie Children of Men.

I Got The Power!

So many people are caught up in the struggle to gain power. They pursue power as if it were their lifes breath. And yet the reality of it is, there is no such thing as power. Only the perception of power. Absolute power absolutely does not exist.

I know you, my kinda faithful readers are shaking your heads while reading this blog. I know you guys are thinking I've fallen and bumped my noggin. But think about it. From your uptight boss, to your 8th period physics teacher to the state trooper giving you a ticket on the 95. None of those people have any real power. Everyone borrows clout from someone or something else. It may be the threat of being fired, or the risk of failing that big exam, or the $500 fine and points on your license that makes you submit to "authority". But at the end of the day your boss has a boss who has a boss who has a boss who reports to the board of directors who report to stockholders. Your teacher has a principal, who reports to the chancellor, who reports to the mayor who reports to the voters. The state trooper is a part of a bureaucracy that I won't even begin to break down. So in a nutshell, no one has any real power.

Then why do people toss their weight around as if their first name were Barack? Second name Obama? Maybe they're compensating for something missing in their lives. Maybe they get off on the perception of power. Maybe they are just truly evil cretins. Who can say? (It's interesting to note here that Mr. Obama may be the POTUS, but he can barely open an envelope without 38495950 Republicans jumping down his throat. Some power for the leader of the free world. But that's a whole nother topic.)

I'm not advocating cursing out your boss, flipping your teacher the bird or leading a state trooper on a 3 county high speed chase. No indeedy. What I'm saying is, don't be a jerk. If you are someone who is perceived as a person of power, don't abuse it. Don't trample on the little guy. Don't treat people as if they are beneath you. There's an old saying in the ruthless, cuththroat, go-getter lifestyle that is New York City Corporate America. It goes like this "The people you climb on to get to the top of the ladder will be the same ones you pass on the way down." So follow the golden rule. I know it's super trite but seriously, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Yes, I've had a crazy week with a bunch of crazy, power hungry individuals in different settings and all I have to say is you can't take it with you. We all serve a higher being, whether it's God, Yahweh, Allah or something that I won't even give space to in my blog. Know that you will have zero power when you meet that higher being. Simmer on that.

The 42nd Annual Pink Tea Concert featuring Alice Day, Internationally Renowned Jazz Vocalist and Miami Born Star

THE CHURCH OF THE OPEN DOOR (UCC)

TO HOLD

42^ND ANNUAL PINK TEA CONCERT

FEATURING WORLD RENOWNED JAZZ ARTIST

ALICE DAY

Jazz Great Alice Day will perform many of her international jazz hits!

WHO: The Church of the Open Door (UCC) and Jazz Artist Alice Day.

WHAT: The Church of the Open Door (UCC) in Miami will hold its 42^nd Annual Pink Tea Concert with jazz artist Alice Day as headliner. The Pink Tea Concert is The Church of the Open Door’s annual fundraiser. All donations generated by the concert will benefit the church mission and wider church ministries supporting the local community, disaster relief, children, hunger, and homeless ministries.

WHEN: Sunday, May 16, 2010, at 4:00 p.m.

WHERE: The Church of the Open Door 6001 NW 8^th Avenue Miami FL, 33127

WHY: Brenda Wilson, President of Circle 1 of the Women’s Fellowship, Church of the Open Door Miami said “We are thrilled to continue our legacy of magnificent entertainment at our Pink Tea Concert with world renowned Alice Day as our guest artist. We expect this to be a fabulous event!”

The Church of the Open Door Congregational, United Church of Christ (UCC) is a steady growth church in Miami, Florida. Our church has a rich legacy and history beginning in May 1958 and spanning over fifty years. As we journey through the next fifty years we aim to continue to grow in membership, faith, and community outreach. The Church of the Open Door objective is to bind together followers of Jesus Christ for the purpose of sharing in the worship of God and making His will dominate in the lives of people, individually and collectively, especially as that will is set forth in the life, teachings, death, resurrection, and the living presence of Jesus Christ. Our vision statement, adopted in June 2003, proclaims that We shall be a Holy Spirit filled Church, obeying the Word of God, serving and advancing the purity, power and passion of Jesus Christ, while capturing and empowering God's Community. Our mission is to holistically empower the members of our Church and our Community, while serving as an Oasis of Resources for those who are in a Desert of Need. For additional information go to:

http://churchoftheopendoormiami.org/