December Curlkit

#ProjectJunkie4Life

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane...

"It's been through hell and back" I joked with my husband as I tossed my battered, ripped, taped together, on-its-last-legs statistics book on the couch. I no longer need the book- the class ended June 17th. However, since my UPS delivery guy decided not to leave my package full of books for the new quarter at my doorstep, I needed the book one more time. There are some distribution tables I needed to access for my Quantitative Methods quiz.

So, because my mind always wanders (it's the poet in me), I started thinking about why my book was so beat down. Then I realized, the book has traveled up and down the eastern seaboard. In less than 3 months the book was in Miami Florida, Greenville North Carolina, New York City, Atlanta Georgia and Jacksonville Florida. My book has traveled more than my husband has in the past year. Yes, this book has been on adventures a plenty with me, and it kind of makes me smile.

The thing is, I have always been an adventurer. I have wanderlust pumping through my veins. A psychic once told me that I would live many places but would always return home (NY). I am only in my mid 30s and have lived many places, and lived in NY on two separate occasions long term. I have dreams of backpacking across Europe with nothing but a Eurail pass and a few Euros, but I think I'm too old for that now. However I am saving like crazy to make sure that I can afford to give my 18 year old that trip when she graduates in 2016. 

It amazes me to meet or hear of people who have never left their little corner of the earth. Whether it's a small town in the middle of Podunk USA or the borough of Queens, New York, or a small village in China, or the island of Manhattan. I think everyone should have at least one major adventure in their life. 

Most people think all NYers are big city slickers. But as I stated in the previous paragraph, there ARE people who stick to their their borough and/or nabe and never venture outside their comfort zone. I remember my mom used to have a friend who begged my mother to chaperone her on every trip into "the city" (Manhattan, or New York, New York to outsiders). Said friend didn't know how to take the train/subway and clearly didn't want to learn. So every time she had an interview or any business to conduct in Manhattan she would enlist my mom to help her navigate.

Even though it's fiction- there was an episode of Sex & The City which featured a guy who felt like he never needed to leave Manhattan because it had everything he needed. Art imitates life, so I'm sure that character was based on a real person.

I feel blessed to have family and friends in so many different cities. It allows me to travel extensively and enjoy life. I even went to San Juan Puerto Rico by myself once on the way to Saint Croix. I walked the streets alone, went to the beach alone, ate alone, swam in the pool alone, shopped alone, etc. Everyone warned me it could be dangerous. But my Spanish is decent, and I'm pretty fearless. I love traveling enough to do it alone.

I could keep typing forever, but my point is- don't let life pass you by. Remember that old Tribe Called Quest song? Take a globe. Spin it. Stop it with your fingertip. Wherever it lands- (outside a war zone) book a ticket. If you can't book a ticket right at that moment commit to saving a little from each paycheck until you save up enough for that ticket. Book the ticket far in advance, to give you time to save for the hotel and spending money. When you're ready, reserve your room. Then try to save at least $700-$1000 for spending money. And you're off! 

If you can't afford this adventure, consider a cruise. A cruise is an affordable way to get to an exotic locale without worrying about hotel costs and food. You just have to get to the cruise ship. The ship docks in each port of call and you will need some spending money to enjoy the shore excursions there. If you can't afford shore excursions, secure a safe taxi to go to a tourist safe beach or shopping area. But if you can't afford taxis you can stay on the ship and play in the pool, or take part in the many shipboard activities. 

So there you have it. There is no excuse for you not to see the world! Have fun- and be sure to let me know how it turns out. I love vacation pictures. :)

Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed

I'm a Prince fan, but moreso his old music. He does have some newer joints that are solid though- like Incense & Candles, Cinnamon Girl, and Beautiful, Loved, and Blessed. 

Anyway, I wanted to let each and every one of you know that you are those things. You are BEAUTIFUL, LOVED, AND BLESSED. No matter what anyone else says, or doesn't say. I'm not one of those people who spend time dwelling on my "haters", because I'm far more concerned with my "lovers". Don't get me wrong- it's better to let your haters be your motivators than to sit around concerned about what negative energy your detractors are spouting out. However, accentuate the positive. Surround yourself with positive people and things. Put people in your life who are constantly motivating you to do better and to be better. No one who claims to love you should be hurting you, putting you down, or making you feel plain lousy. Also, beware of "frenemies". You know- the people who claim to be your friends but you find yourself in constant competition with them? Your friend should be the main one cheering you on when you achieve your goals- they should not be pointing out how things could have been so much better if you did XYZ. 

Be comfortable in your own skin. I'm the first to admit this wasn't always easy for me. Back in the day I constantly had to have someone around me. I couldn't stand to be alone even for an afternoon. I partied 6 nights a week just to be in the crowd. As I matured and began truly loving myself I quickly realized that with me is where I want to be. I now enjoy those brief moments of solitude where I can work out solutions in my head, or curl up with a good book. Or even veg out on the couch and clean out my dvr which is always at 90 something % full. Me time is critical! 

You may not be on the cover of Vogue, but you're beautiful. You may not have found "the one" yet, but you're loved by someone. And you may not be a millionaire- but you're blessed. You're beautiful because God molded you. You're loved because you love yourself. And you're blessed because you're alive reading this. 

-E.B.

Giving to the Needy or Being Played For a Fool?

I used to work for a non profit that helped needy people. But even before that I understood that if I wanted to help the needy I had to be sure to give in the appropriate place and time. So instead of handing a dollar to a homeless person why not get your organization to sponsor an meal for an entire shelter of homeless people? That way you know your dollars are going into filling the bellies of people who really need food- and not into the arm of a junkie. Are all homeless people on drugs? Of course not. But there is a better chance of your dollar doing the most good if you give to the organization that is set up to help. Besides, if the non profit is set up correctly they should be giving more than just food. They should be providing housing, rehab programs, job placement and other tools for transitioning from a life on the streets into self reliance.

The other day I was in Tallahassee dropping my youngest off at college. We had purchased a lot of her stuff in Miami, but some things needed to wait until we got to the school- like food. Whenever we wanted to hit a store we would plug the name into the gps and drive to the nearest location. In this instance we were looking for a Family Dollar. The closest one ended up being in a not so nice neighborhood. I'm never uncomfortable in those situations though. I'm from New York City, there isn't much that fazes me in that regard. But the minute I put my foot out the car a woman appeared out of nowhere. "Hello," she stated, locking eyes with me, clearly oblivious to my discomfort. "Hi," I said cautiously, being sure to check my surroundings to make sure she wasn't distracting me while something else was going on. My youngest was busy taking our purses from the car and securing the vehicle. When she was finished I remotely locked the doors to ensure the items we had just purchased from Wal-Mart, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target etc were safe. We started walking towards the Family Dollar. We didn't get two feet before the woman screamed "I need pads. I got my period." I shot a confused look at the woman. "Ok..." I mumbled. "You're not gonna help me out?" she demanded angrily. I gave the woman the illest mean mug from the depths of Bed Sty Brooklyn. Sensing that we were not the garden variety family who she could punk out of a few dollars, the woman took off. 

I was incensed. When did it become appropriate to announce in a parking lot that you have your period, and demand that strangers purchase sanitary napkins for you?! Seriously?! We have GOT to do better. This female was clearly not homeless. She was decently dressed. Her hair was done. If I remember correctly she had on sunglasses. I mean really? If she was that bad off any shelter in the city would have given her a care package if she spent the night. That would be far more dignified than trolling parking lots for help. Part of me believes she was making it up for money for drugs. Because I can't bring myself to believe that a woman would get her hair done, buy shades, do all these things and not have those items taken care of. Wow.

Then, on the way back to Miami, my car was running low on gas. I was in Broward county- but I was still too far from home to risk making it all the way to the house. So I came off the turnpike and hit the first gas station I passed which was some off brand Amerika gas or something. It was dark, so I looked around to check out the area before pumping my gas. I also always remove my keys from the ignition and lock my car doors when I pump gas. That way anyone trying to sneak on the other side to open the door to steal my purse or anything else while I'm distracted will be sadly deterred by a locked door. Think I'm paranoid? This happened to several of my friends- including my husband who actually had his car MOVED FROM THE PUMP while he went inside the pay for his gas. Anyway this man appeared out of nowhere and asked "Can you give me a half a tank of gas?" I looked at him like he was crazy. He proceeded to tell me that he had just dropped his sister off at a homeless shelter in Broward and he needed gas to get back to Miami. As he's talking he's inching closer and closer to me. I'd had enough and told him "Back up." Startled with my aggressive tone, he asked "Do you want to see what a brown recluse spider bite looks like?" and held out his arm as if I were going to come closer. When he saw I wasn't playing the game he was trying to play he disappeared as quickly as he appeared. I finished pumping my gas and high tailed it out of there.

From pads to half tanks of gas, people have no problem asking strangers for ridiculous items as if said strangers owe them a debt. I give generously to charity and work hundreds of community service hours yearly. It was mandatory that my children did as well. However, don't play me for a fool. I was born at night- not last night. If you see me, bypass with all that nonsense. If you are in Miami and you ask me for money or food I will hand you a card to the Miami HAC. There you will find three hots, a cot, a warm shower each night, job placement assistance, clothing, and other tools to help you help yourself. If you're not ready to take that step I will pray with you. But I will not hand over my hard earned so that you can line your pockets for a day of adventure. And no one will make me feel bad about that fact. I've been everything from a hungry broke college student, to a hot shot media maven with a combined household income of well into six figures, back down to an unemployed media maven who still had thousands of dollars of monthly household expenses and a fraction of my normal salary coming in. I had to make it work somehow- and for years I did just that. Without resorting to demanding things from strangers. It can be done! Everything else is just a sad excuse. //End Rant//

Options

I can’t believe a person who used to write extra long love letters can’t even update a blog. I used to promise my faithful few readers that I would try to do better and committed to updating at least once per week. I think we all know that’s not going to happen. I’ll try to blog when I have something really relevant to share. In between I’ll try to post up some of the videos from my youtube page.

Ok, so one big change that has happened in my life is that I am officially in grad school! I just completed two quarters. I am shooting for a December 2013 graduation date with my mba in Human Resource Management. My thinking is that this degree will allow me to be more flexible in my career choices, and remove me from the media pigeon hole I’m in. I eat, breathe and sleep media but I want to be able to float into other industries if I find myself without a job. This degree will allow me to go into any type of business function, or Human Resources. I’ve been seriously considering going straight through and completing my PhD, but we’ll see how I feel after getting hammered by this rigorous mba program. 

Aside from counting my duckets, I am NOT a math person. Left to my own devices I’d probably get an F in every math class I ever took. I am definitely more into the humanities. Anyway I need to pop my collar and brag about the fact that I just got an “A” in statistics the first time out. I’m so proud of myself. I worked hard, stayed up long nights, gave up my weekends for 11 weeks and basically neglected my friends, kids, pets and husband to snag this grade. Next up is quantitative methods which I hear is far worse so please keep me in your prayers. LOL. Here’s what I am claiming for myself with this program: Maintenance of a 4.0 gpa at best, no less than a 3.8 on the low end. Invitations to at least two national honor societies. No graduation date push backs- December 2013 I want to walk across that stage.

One week ago I took a 6+ hour journey to drop my youngest off at college in Tallahassee. She will be pursuing a BA in chemistry. I encouraged her to take this path to give herself options. She wants to be a doctor, but realistically we all know that path is rough. So if she gets the degree in chemistry she can do one of two things. First, she can keep the chemistry degree and become a chemist. One of our cousins has made a career as a chemist and really enjoys working in the lab. Second option, she can apply to pharmacy school. Pharmacists make a great living with less years in school and no malpractice headaches. So she weighed her options and decided to give the chemistry major a try. If I had to do the last 15 years of my life over again, I think I would have given myself a lot more options. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t regret any of the decisions I’ve made (aside from one, which will be resolved very soon). But maybe I could have gone straight to grad school after college. Or maybe I should have stayed in NY 2 years less. Maybe, maybe, maybe. This time around I want options. I promise to blog tomorrow. I have a rant that I’ve been dying to post about for about a week.

Toodles,

E.B.