From Stepford Wife to Super Woman...

As you guys may or may not know I am a Miami transplant. I’ve been here for about a year. I moved here for a new job opportunity and to get my family out of the craziness that, more often that not is New York City.

At first I moved through life here almost as if in a fog. I had on my perfect Stepford Wife smile. My clothes were flawless. The pools were aqua blue. There was no fear of being pricked by a hypodermic needle on the gorgeous Florida Beaches. Oh my gosh! My neighborhood is even more convenient than the ones in New York. You mean to tell me I have a mall complete with movie theater, tons of nail salons, every restaurant known to man, a Wal-mart AND a K-mart, my dentist/primary care/eye/gyno doctor all within a three mile radius? I was hooked. Or so I thought.

It took me a few months to realize what I was missing. Friends! Back in New York my homegirls were but a phone call, train or cab ride away. But here I had not one road dog. Not for lack of trying. I just didn’t know where to meet people. I work in a company that is 99% Hispanic/Latino. I noticed a huge difference between the Nuyoricans and Dominicans I knew from back home and the first generation, recently immigrated Columbians, Argentineans and Cubans that I work with. For starters, the Hispanics here are exclusively family oriented. Their main concern is to come in to the office, crank out the work, and see the parking lot in their rearview mirror at 5:02 p.m. because their priority is to get home to the fam.

I’m not used to that. Though I have a family at home I sometimes like to wind down before heading home. A drink after work. Perhaps a stroll down 8^th Avenue from times square. Instead of jumping on the train at 42^nd street why not walk down to 14^th street so you can have time to chat with your homeboy about the new independent flick that’s showing in the Village? Scratch that. Let’s run to Starbucks. We can get two Iced Latte’s with a shot of hazel nut flavor, cream, sugar, make it sweet. Don’t forget to add the whipped cream with a splash of caramel on top. We’ll sit by the window and ignore the people that walk by while we unload about the latest drama that’s been taking place at the office.

My co-manager told me, almost with a complacent, dead eyed look that she just grew accustomed to the fact that she will never have friends here. Her husband is all she needs. “You’ll get used to it,” she told me, and shrugged her shoulders as if to say “Accept it or go back from whence you came.”

For many months I did just that. Accepted it. My routine was:

M-F 6:00a rise from bed

M-F 7:00a leave my house to start my long, arduous commute

M-F 8:00a arrive at the office

M-F 5:00p leave the office

M-F 6:00p arrive home

M-F 6:01p get online/watch tv/talk on the phone

M-F 12:00a go to bed

Sa-Su Repeat above steps, just replace work with Clean House/Get Nails Done/Grocery Shop.

By December 2007, I had had enough. I decided to come out of the fog of discontentment an depression. I would take charge of the situation. I would get up, get out and do something. I would start volunteering. I would go online and make connections with people in the Miami area. I would strike up conversations with people out in public. Something, ANYTHING! Whatever had to be done to make the best of the situation instead of putting my tail between my legs, packing up my house and family and heading back home.

I joined Hands On Miami, (http://handsonmiami.org/) a very well organized volunteer group that mobilizes volunteers to help out in local community activities. My first volunteer function: The Grand Re-Opening of Virginia Key Beach Park. In my last post I gave you a little background information about VKBP. In my next post I’ll tell you about my day and how I FINALLY connected with a positive sista here in Miami. Stay tuned…