Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Miami "Cold" Snap

View outside my 3rd floor brownstone apartment in Brooklyn, New York after a snow storm in 2006. Yes, those are two cars next to him.
A friend just called me on some "Wooo Lawd" mess because it's considered "cold" in Miami. I guess, if you have nothing else to compare it to. Don't get me wrong- you need a jacket. But all this "Ooooo it's so cold" and calling on the Lord for 50 degrees and a little wind... Over the top.

Entire street outside that same window.

What do they know about cold so brutal you feel it with every fiber of your being? Wind that takes away your breath in your throat? Cold that makes your eyes water and turn your tears to ice on your cheek? Cold that freezes the tips of ears, noses, fingers and toes? Cold that cracks lips, skin and leather? Cold that makes every orifice in your upper body leak? And what of the snow? Snow that buries everything in it's wake? Including your front steps, your car, your legs up to the knee and your dog if you're silly enough to walk him? But wait. It gets worse! When you make it to a safe haven, away from the cold, wind and possible snow your body begins to thaw out, sending sharp needles of pain throughout your system as the blood begins to flow to those frozen limbs.

View outside my back window. THIS is a good gauge of how rough it was because unlike the front which must be shoveled and paved for pedestrians backyards are left to their own devices until the snow melts.

If you're not stomping snow off your Timbs upon entering a building, or rubbing your hands together while you blow on them to spark a 'lil heat, if you're not covering from toe tip to head top in boots, underarmor, tights, thermal socks, heavy jeans, a knee length or longer fleece lined coat, Isotoner gloves, a t-shirt, a sweater, a scarf long enough to wrap around your chest inside the coat, come up over the neck of the coat to wrap around your neck and come up over your lips right under your eyes which are covered with shades or glasses, replete with a hat, and ear muffs then you my friend ARE NOT COLD. Oh yeah- your little ipods/phones/pads would short out right in your ear if you try to have some tunes to keep your company on your trek ON FOOT through a North East Tundra. So run the 5 feet from your condo to your car that I'm sure has heat to go along with that AC, put on a jacket and suck it up.

Love,

A Nor' Easter.

RYNGRUPEVEF3